The E-Chronicles

My first post in awhile...

2009-11-05T10:36:00.000-08:00

...is just to prove to someone that I'm Drew (not Andrew) Link and I've been talking to her on gmail chat thinking that she was Melanie Landry for the last hour.

Re-chronicles

2008-10-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

What the H, am I right? I mean, a whole year since an update? Even though I swore that I would start updating in short bursts and not make each post an epic one filled with comics, movies, and or witty soliloquys? Well, F that.

I guess it also is kind of moot, since the purpose of the Chrons were to keep the fam informed of my various nefarious deeds in China, and since I'm sitting in my mom's living room writing this post, I doubt she wonders what I'm up to. So now that I'm back in the North Carolinic state and not adventuring around parts of China, my life must be boring, right? YOU BET!

But, I've been reading back-logs (or blogs... awesome, I came up with a new word) of my posts and I like reading them. So if I make a little post here and there that has a dash of tedium, you - my esteemed viewer - can just freaking deal with it. There I said it.

So yeah, I'm back in NC. What of it? The coming back part wasn't what I expected really. There were a lot of things that happened in the last 2 freaking days of being in Beijing that made me really doubt my decision to leave. It made it nearly impossible, and I spent the whole 24 hours or so that I was in the Vancouver airport thinking about everything that happened. I got home on my birthday. And even though I was really happy to see everyone, I could have easily just gotten right back on a plane to Beijing. I even wondered in passing how easy that would be. A part of me still thinks about just ditching this incredibly lame job search that has reaped so few rewards and just going back to China where they actually want to hire me.

That said, a part of me wants to stick it out and get a job. A "real" job, as some might say. One that might prepare me for the future more than living day-by-day on wages of a foreign teacher. After all, I'm highly unsure of what kind of Drew I want to be. Do I want to be teaching and living abroad forever Drew? Do I want to be steady job and a house Drew? Hell, I even saw my cousin's tiny baby this weekend and part of me wants to be Papa Drew. I don't even know! There are too many parts to reconcile.

So while I look for jobs in America, (mainly in Washington because I think Seattle is a rad town)I also look in Beijing. I'm hoping that something will just guide me in a direction, mainly in the guise of a job offer. But maybe I'll just have to start making a decision my own damned self. See? This is where chronicling helps. It might actually make me realize what I actually want out of life.

So there it is. I'm home now, I'm looking for jobs left and right. Learning the meaning of the words "let-down" and "perserverence". All the while riding this whole election roller-coaster and being totally bummed that I can't afford all the awesome games that are coming out. I am enjoying being home, but I also miss the sense of community in China. I never thought I'd hear myself say that seeing as I rarely understood what people said to me. A big part of that probably has to do with living in a city. But any sense of community doesn't match up to being with family. That's something I missed a great deal in Beijing, and it's good to have that back.

Dave's travel blog

2007-10-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

There are just two reasons for this post:

1.) I'm kinda drunk, and I wanted at least drunk-post. Tonight is night 4 of the Scary Movie Week-a-thon, we watched Army of Darkness and Shaun of the Dead. Two of the funniest horror movies out there. And fun to drink to while watching.

2.) To link to Dave' Reidy's travel blog in India. It's a fantastically written and informative blog about life about working in India. Dave and Laura are awesome, and I'm not just saying that because I've drunken too many whiskey smoothies. But it helps.

Scare-a-thon 2007

2007-10-23T08:16:00.001-07:00

Lookie, a new e-chron postage. Who knows, maybe this will rebecome a regular thing for me.

The past weekend we went to a park to help make things pretty. I know I do a super job at that, personally, for the crusty pizza boxes and filthy socks that I'll probably wear tomorrow are organized in a very feng sh-way... heheh, get it?

It was a fun time, although it wasn't nearly as involved as last year's excursion to the outskirts of Beijing, or Jingy-town as it likes to be called. Nevertheless, it was still a joyous romp. I attended to see my Alaska class hard at work doing good for the environment. They really put their backs into it. In fact, I have some grossly outrageous photos to highlight some of the best samples of child-labor one is likely to see.

Our plan that day was to do some good for the world (clean parks, help old ladies cross streets, reunite puppy orphans with their families, etc.) and then go take some spooky pictures at an abandoned theme park that I read about in that's beijing. Unfortunately it became more of a recon mission, as we weren't actually able to find any of the buses that were supposed to deliver us. All the better though, we spent the rest of the day playing a 20-questions-ish game until said game erupted into a fiery religious debate. Too bad it seems like it's almost impossible to say the words "religious debate" without being preempted with the word "fiery".

I've made it a goal of mine to try to watch at least one scary movie per night after the October break leading up to Halloween. Of course, I keep to that oath more-so than I keep to more productive oaths like promises to visit friends on weekends or trying to workout or eat healthy on a regular basis. The result has been some weird dreams that tie most genres together, such as vampire werewolf zombies fighting ax-wielding maniacs. In essence, this means it's working.

This week, we're having a spooky movie scare-a-thon. Every night leading up to Saturday will and has been one scary movie party. God I love Halloween.

In other news, as some of you may or may not know, Dan Hubball will be visiting Beijing very soon. The date is rapidly approaching, and I'm trying my best to prepare lots of China things to do. I hope he brings Ribena though. I mean, I like him and all, but I'll be danged if I don't also like sugar-flavored black currant juice a whole crapload as well.

More to come. By the way, all the photos from the day can be located here.

PS: I just read Dave Reidy's blog. He's in India now. Mumbai. He got malaria. He's sick, but it sounds like he'll pull through. So... Mom? Dad? Wanna meet in Mumbai over February break instead of Canada?

PPS: I wanted to try the video uploader through blogger. If you can see it, this video is a 3d-itized version of the Great Wall photo from a year ago. Can't link to the original, because blogger is blocked AGAIN!

Something wicked this way comes.

2007-10-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

First of all, I want to thank you guys for keeping with the blog and checking it from time to time and all. I can't read or comment on my own blog, but I can still post on it. I want to say things to you guys and respond and all, but I can't. I'm considering moving the old e-chron to a site that can be viewed in China, but most major blogging sites are blocked in China (Which is what this update is all about). I'd be endlessly appreciative if some of you guys could e-mail me sometime just a short e-mail so that I have ways of contacting you. Especially Maile and all the guys who still check this site from time to time from the old WoW days. It's drewlink@gmail.com.

Anyway, on to business. Things are going fine here in Beijing. Work keeps getting more interesting and has been adding up quite a bit. It's good work though. Interesting, with lots of variety. Variety is good. I remember working at some other jobs that shan't be named that basically involved 30 minutes of work supplemented with 7 and a half hours of watching Homestar Runner cartoons and reading every bit of trivia about Star Wars from imdb.com, all while trying to dodge the boss as he walked by the office. That got old, quick. I finally feel like I'm doing something that I can actually enjoy, and that might actually look good on a resume. I might even be able to qualify for the 2 years of HR work needed to certify as a PHR guy, which would make me glad that if I choose to continue working in the field, I won't have to take that godforsaken test any time soon.

Life here continues to be interesting as well. As the Olympics draws nearer, hilarious new commercials keep popping up on Chinese TV that show Beijing as a happy place with cars stopping for pedestrians and friendly shopkeepers smiling, utterly delighted by being graced with the presence of neighborhood friendlies. The sky is always blue, with rainbows shining down upon God's green earth, with unicorns frolicking in the streets! Oh what a magical place!

Now, what's weird is that anyone who lives in Beijing knows that this just ain't the case. Cars often *speed up* when they see a pedestrian crossing, even if you have the green light. And shopkeepers tend to scowl at the presence of foreigners (unless you live here, then they think everything you say in Chinese is side-splittingly hilarious). So... these ads don't work for locals.

Ah yes! It must be targeted at people interested in coming to visit! Of course! Except... huh. Well I guess anyone who would be shelling out the dough to come see glorious Beijing would be of the right mind to investigate the place. They might check blogs of people who post about Beijing or whatnot, as I did. When I looked up information back many months ago, guess what I found? Lots of people... *lots*... complaining about traffic, pollution, etc. etc. So, I guess the informed potential visitor might more readily see these posts rather than buy in to the pink-bordered, disneyland advertisements sponsored by Beijing 2008. Hmm...

Well, I guess it would be all fine and dandy, but NOW I wouldn't be able to really show you what I mean! Recently, there has been an all-out cyberwar declared apparently! Youtube is now blocked, so I can't find the commercials so that you may bask in its absurdity, and major search sites are now redirected to the highly censored Baidu website! That in combination with other actual *world-wide* reports on environmental issues (sorry, the link for this site no longer works for me, figures!) and every blog on the internet being blocked, it's very apparent that China will do anything to convince you that Beijing is Candyland. And by the way, the health report I mentioned says that 750,000 premature deaths in China can be linked to the pollution of it's cities. Granted, the report was mainly talking about other cities in China that are *far* worse than Beijing. But the *reason* this report was censored was either because: a) Chinese officials thought the report was already too wordy and bulky, and/or b) these reports would do nothing to inform the populace, it would just cause social unrest. Darn. I didn't look at it that way!

Alright, so maybe I'm peeved that I can no longer watch Star Wars spoofs or video game instructional videos, but all the news about this internet campaign has happened in the *last week*. And it just further validates my conspiracy inspired belief that the repairing of the cables in Taiwan after last year's earthquake was stifled because there was a huge flurry of activity on Baidu and other Chinese sites as a result. GrrrAAH!!

I'm all for Beijing trying to make a good name for itself before the Olympics. I *want* them to do well. I *like* China (mainly the people). Sure, they can be rude. Everything about China is expanding rapidly... almost too rapidly. But why do they have to execute executives almost immediately after being convicted for turning a blind eye on what paints they use for toys? Sure this was bad, but this was a harsh move that makes them look almost barbaric. Why do they have to feel like they need to lie to get people to come here? Why do they have to censor *everything* on the internet and keep people in the dark? Why do they have to block all other websites in order to improve the traffic of their own? The way to compete in business shouldn't be about blocking access to other alternatives. It should be about making *your* alternative the best one! Oh! Guess what else is blocked here? WebMD! W...T...F?!?

Like I said, I do like it here. I like living here. It's neat! The people here are good people! But they have a long way to come to impress the world, I think. And I hate to break it to them, but it won't happen by the time 08/08/08 comes around.

Back in China

2007-09-02T08:34:00.000-07:00

Here I am, after a month of relaxation and enjoyment in the US. I ate a whole bunch of stuff while I was there, too. Everything that's sweet in the US is just so much more sweet than anything in China, and as a result I ate them. Ate them all up. I was pleased to find that 3 of the Chinese teachers here commented on how fat I've gotten, and that I can no longer really fit into my pants that I left here.

I can already tell that I've begun to lose what I gained almost instantaneously. I'm not sure if that's a good thing, honestly. This kind of weight fluctuation might upset my homeostasis or something like that.

The time I spent at home was awesome, although I did nothing really while I was there. I just relaxed. It's easy to get lost in a loop of doing nothing around there, which was fine for me. But now that I'm back, I've started to think about why exactly I'm here.

This enters my mind nearly every day. Why am I here? Not, you know, here on this Earth. But literally, here in China? Some days I think it's because of the challenge, some days because I want to experience a vastly different culture, and some days I even think it's because things are often so absolutely absurd here that I can't help but laugh at it... to myself. That's right, sometimes I think I'm in China just to laugh at it. That makes people who come here just to some exotic Asian action seem more justified than me! Ok, maybe not.

I have never settled on one answer, and another thing that I constantly think about is that if I go to an interview, be it job or school, I know they're going to ask something similar. Why did you spend 2 years in China? What am I supposed to say? To find myself? To grow as a human person on this world? Or should I say that I'm impulsive and get bored often of one place to the point where I can't stay there for more than 2 years in a row without getting jittery. I'm sure they'd love to hear that when they ask where do I see myself in 5 years? "I have no freaking clue... um... South Africa? Maybe? Somewhere where this company ain't, I can tell ya that!". Yeah that will look really good.

I just hope that by the time I do interview somewhere, I'll have figured out what the hell I'm doing here. I mean, I think the problem is that there are too many reasons why I'm here. They keep coming to me, and every time I think of one, it's accurate and true. I can only think of a handful of reasons not to be here.

Anyway, classes start tomorrow and it should be exciting. I can't wait to see last year's bunch, and the new lot as well. I'm sure it will be a very interesting year.

Hot dog!

2007-06-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

Well, it's summer. And it's hot as heck. It's a different kind of hot than I'm used to. I'm accustomed to the heat that hits your from the sun, and then does it's damage. I'm not used to the city heat, which isn't so bright, but just gets trapped in the layer of *ahem* "fog" that's in Beijing and just, ya know, kinda cooks you a little. It stays hot at night, which is highly discouraging.

Let me be honest for a bit as well... I haven't updated my blog in awhile. Like, two months. I have excuses at the ready. I *love* excuses. I'm full of them. They're the lifeblood of any fella out there who calls himself a procrastinator. But these excuses are good, because I think I'm over them... you'll see what I mean.

I like the comics. I like drawing. I like taking pictures and videos. But now that I've drawn two whole comics, and put pictures up, I feel like I *always* have to do that. In order to make each entry scintillating. After all, some people may read this and think, "Ooh a webjournal about life in China! It must be chock full of interesting tidbits of travel, like www.wherethehellismatt.com and his excursions around the globe!" Lemme tell ya, there's a big difference in travelling in China and living here. When you've been here for nearly a year, it becomes a home (Not *the* home, don't even think I'm calling it my home, Mom!). Thus, it becomes something that isn't as romantic as it started out. Sure, it's still quite exciting, and there are still things that shock and fascinate me about how different they are from the U.S., but I feel like I have to constantly prove how wonderful and full of uniqueness living in China is. I can't always do that. Especially when I spend most of my time working, playing video games, and trying to watch as many movies about zombies as I can.

So, anyway, enjoy those excuses, k?

Next year will be quite different. It sounds like I'll be teaching less, and working on highly interesting projects. This is intensly exciting for me. Also, I hope to cut out this whole "work-a-full-day-on-freaking-saturday" BS that I've done since October. I really, really think that was a bad idea in retrospect. Sure it was more money and all, but it made me dread the weekends. And dreading the weekend is nearly blasphemous in my opinion. So, screw it, I say. I want my Saturdays back.

Alright, as you can see. No pictures. No comics. Just boring text. Thanks for playing.

The Policeman Remind

2007-04-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

Click on it to hugify.

There it is. The new comic, for all to see. I feel so vulnerable, but at least it's not even not much worse than the last one, I suppose. I think that maybe my comicking is mainly for personal venting, and may make me laugh, but that's all I'm after anyway. Catharsis.

This one is about the recent news of the WTO tightening its grip on piracy in China. While, in theory, I'm against stealing for the reason that maybe might possibly I'll sent to eternal damnation with the thieves, murderers and whoremongers (see Revelations 21:8... Thanks alot Mrs. Norris), I can't help but wonder what will happen to the entertainment avenues in China as a whole. I mean, where will people get there fun without it involving The Rock and/or special effects in some way? Mahjong? Friendly social outings with other human beings?! PLEASE! Also, the comic is a throwback to the hilariously mistranslated sign about not being a thief in Zhongguancun.

Anyway, recently we had a party in honor of Cory and Dave's Tax Day/Birthday Extravaganza and it was a boatload of fun. Lots and lots compadres from work showed up, representing both countries, and we had good times with the completely and totally legit Nintendo Wii and games that I bought totally LEGALLY! (Just wanted to make that clear). It's amazing to see someone who's never played it pick up the remote, examine it intently, and then proceed to flick it around with incredible uncertainty. It brought to mind that scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey, when the monkey-men (fresh from their session with the brain-boosting monolith) start realizing they can use tools for the first time. Yeah, not exactly the nicest comparison to make of my friends... with movie-monkeys. But if it makes it better, I went through the same process, except I was in an EBGames surrounded by total strangers.

Positive Role Model For the Children

2007-04-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

So the Wii is fun and all, but there are some lines I'm not sure I'm ready to cross. I mean, I've crossed it already, I guess, but I didn't feel comfortable about it once I became self-aware.

I made this as a pilot comic, so to speak. It really didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would have, and I like it personally. As I mentioned ephemerally before, I think some of the more ridiculous scenarios that happen in China or just in general aren't best explained in text form. The absurdity of some situations, I feel, can only be truly expressed (by me personally) in a ridiculous way. I guess this is ridiculous as any.

Back in college times, my friends and I used to draw pictures on each other's dry-erase boards. This was good fun, and it provided an outlet for expressing the aforementioned absurdities of each other's behavior, and/or the absurdities of life. Usually it was done in the passive/aggressive sense, and I could imagine a scenario in which future comics of mine take on this approach at dealing with issues that crop up in life. Funny or not, I think I'll keep doing it. Let me know what you think, though, whoever's out there.

This particular pilot comic (I'm too shy to put it up on the front page yet... I mean, it's pretty rough), as I said before, has nothing to do with China. It's actually something I've caught myself doing before. It's the marriage between a song I've had stuck in my head for the past few days, and playing Godfather: Blackhand Edition for the Wii. I caught myself joyfully crooning the happy (and educational!) song, while participating in gesture-controlled activities such as extorting barbershop owners, smashing up their stores with baseball bats, and subsequently having a shootout with the coppers. Once I realized how jubilant I was behaving while conducting these despicable acts (albiet virtually), I had to take a step back and reevaluate my sanity. After an intensive review, I can safely - and objectively - conclude that I'm still sane. Everyone can relax now.

And just so you know, Mom and Dad will likely know the other time this happened: During Christmas a few years back, they could here cries of anguish from my room while I was mowing down supervillains in No One Lives Forever while whistling jolly Christmas carols. Good times were had by most!

Elite Beat Agents

2007-04-02T02:28:00.000-07:00

Here's the link for the stupid game that made me freaking cry. If you want to lose some respect in me, watch this video. Just note that other people have admitted in comments that they cried too! So I'm not alone.

Time to fully surrender my masculinity...

Is that the best you got?!

2007-04-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

So the sandstorm hit and OH MY GOD!! Look at the pics!!!

BEFORE THIS LONG POST -- I need to let everyone know that I can post in China right now, but I can't freaking comment. If that's not back-asswards, I don't know what is. But thanks for the comments everyone!

Insanity! It was impossible to breate, much less survive. The mere exposure to the harsh climates peels the coloration from your retinas, inducing a piercing blue tint to your eyes much like the spice in "Dune". Mere surgical masks does little to... umm... delay the inevitable... err...

Ok, April Fools. And a day late, no less.

Of course, the images are photoshopped. Not only photoshopped, but done so in an amateurish way that would make my teachers at the Art Institute disown my one year of intensive artistic training. The sandstorm did nothing. As a matter of fact, the next day was beautiful. Clear skies, clouds, you name it. I think I even saw a blue-bird on someone's shoulder. So much for Beijing living up to the hype. Gah!

Speaking of science-fiction, I've been watching Dr. Who. This campy, yet highly entertaining, new romp in old fashioned sci-fi worlds doubles as a metaphor for traveling. Kind of like how Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy did and yes, I'm sure, the original Dr. Who T.V. series. But this one really has a lot of interesting aspects that equates to what I experience while traveling. With the uncertainty, the culture shock, the exploration, and how they handle contact of one of the main characters with her family back home, who neither know where she is, or when she is. The whole premise is based around traveling through time and space to distant... times and spaces.

The whole purpose of traveling in my personal experience has little to nothing to do with "finding yourself" as many people believe it does, and more with just seeing all you can see, and challenging yourself in ways that you simply can't be challenged academically or physically (not that I frequently challenge myself in the latter). Thrusting yourself into a situation of uncertainty and almost total exclusion from anything you're comfortable with or accustomed to. It's the ultimate in uprooting yourself.

In addition to academic challenges, I feel that this is one of the most worthy endeavors that anyone could do. I need to stress "anyone", because it's not just me that I feel this relates to. Sure, I've loved traveling to the point of scary addiction since the whole European Extravaganza back in aught-2, but I think this experience is oft overlooked as being something that "gets in the way of real life". I, of course, profoundly disagree. Seeing how you handle yourself in these situations, and seeing just how much your own behavior differs from those around you (when you're TOTALLY surrounded by it) allows you to be able to be more aware of your abilities and limitations. Which is why, I must say, I'm especially proud of Ma, Pa, and my dearest older brother, Nukie. They ventured to the lands of the Scots and the Brits, and enjoyed it. I have to be honest, it surprised me a little. Even more of a shock, Dad liked Hong Kong. Hong... Kong. Not just a city, a big ol' city. Full of people. And he only managed to embarrass me only about half the time. Shocking.

Oh, but I ramble. This was mainly a post to say that traveling should be done by all. I don't want to here any moaning about, "Oh, but I can't. It would be nice to travel and piss away my life rambling about the globe, but I've got my future to think about." I got news for you, buddy (er... buddies), especially you younger types. The average amount of time an American changes his or her job is 5 times in their lifetime. At some point during those 5 changes, find some time to travel somewhere and experience all the craziness first hand. Just a few months, maybe a year. If you despise it, at least you'll be better off. Unless you get malaria. Which is why you should go prepared. And who knows?! Maybe you'll FIND yourself!

The End is Nigh

2007-03-30T07:38:00.000-07:00

Sandstorm expected to hit tonight and tomorrow. If there's truth to this, expect the next update to have post-apocalyptic fun and joy for all. In photo form. God, sometimes I wish I didn't have to work Saturdays...

Life is extremely weird here

2007-03-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

There's no compelling reason for the reason the title is what it is for this update, other than it's the truth.

Living in China is so weird. Always. I mean, almost too weird. Everyone here is pretty dang weird. The majority of the time it's the good kind of weird, with a few dashes of annoying weird. But all in all, fun weird. Which is one of the things I was looking for.

I'm not so much learning how to speak, read, or write Chinese in the formal sense at the moment, but I'm rocking out the understanding what people are saying. And that part is the scariest part. While I was in Zhongguancun getting my Wii tinkered with... umm... wow that just came out wrong. The sad part is I'm afraid of being more specific than that, so lets just say it involves the installation of some hardware to make my Wii better... I'm just going to stop saying Wii. Anyway, I was there being slightly impatient because I had a party to get to. I overheard the local proprietor mention something about me hovering over him like a hawk waiting for him to finish. He said, "laowai" alot, which is what I am. I could tell he was using it in the slightly pejorative sense. So I kind of laughed. Then both shopkeeps looked at me wide-eyed, and said in Chinese, "Does he understand Chinese?!". Bwahaha. I just kind of nodded.

Then a couple of days ago while waiting for my ride to school, I heard the security guard outside the apartment mention to a passerby, "Hey, there's that American standing by the gate." Said passerby turner 'round and stared right at me. I just sort of nodded and acknowledged that I was apparently the subject of great fascination. They both laughed at me of course.

Here in China, if you look like a whitey, you will instigate some incredibly odd behaviors. Ranging from stunned bewilderment to steadfast discrimination, it's always a surprise to me the extremes that many people go to when you're in their presence. While it's funny sometimes, I do feel highly uncomfortable most of the time. Heck, I could swear that my discriminates against me sometimes. I'll be waiting patiently on the eighth floor after hitting the button, and the elevator will come up and pass me by to the tenth floor, and then again on it's way back down. No way is it going to have some burger-eating white devil pushing its buttons with its greasy, hairy fingers. Not in a million years.

So I've been debating making some sort of comic about all the strange happenings in China. Because most of it is so surreal that I feel like it can only be best expressed through some sort of comedic medium. I'm just not convinced that: A.) I'm funny enough, B.) I can draw, or C.) I'd actually do it. Time will tell.

Absolutely Ridiculous

2007-03-26T09:11:00.000-07:00

Tonight I got a game for the DS and decided to reward myself after having gone shopping and cleaning my apartment by indulging for a few minutes of quality game time. Please fast forward through this update if you don't want to read about a video game, or may think about playing this game and don't want anything spoiled.

<<<>>>

So I got this game called Elite Beat Agents for the DS, which is one of those rhythm games that I've been enjoying lately. The types of games that make me think that if I really, really wanted to I could dance or have rhythm. But yeah, probably not.

Anyway, I knew that it was a Japanese game, involved manga-style comic book graphics, and was full of cheesy plots and dialogue. It's about a trio of super-secret agents that go around solving people's problems by dancing. By dancing. There apparently isn't a problem that can't be solved by cutting rugs.

So as I expected, most of the levels were hilarious oddities one right after another. You help these ridiculously rich sisters ensure that they can maintain their shallow, materialistic lifestyles after crashing on a deserted island. You help an old-fart oil tycoon who's lost all his money (and his gold-digging wife kicks him out of his mansion) by getting him to be come filthy stinking rich again, and basically "buying" back his wife without a second thought. It was all good fun, which is why I was blind-sided by what happened next...

Spoilers If anyone were ever thinking of getting this game and wants a good surprise, don't read anymore. A story comes up, and the whole ambience of the game becomes somber all of the sudden. It was an episode called "The Christmas Gift". It begins with a happy widdle family getting ready to celebrate Christmas. Daddy's leaving, and daughter says she wants a girl teddy for Christmas. He promises he'll be back for Christmas, and he'll put in a good word with Santa.
Well then, it says, "Six months later..."

The girl mentions something about when Daddy was going to come back. Mommy then says, "He's not coming back, lets not talk about this." That's right, Daddy's freaking DEAD.

Then the music kicks up. It's "You're the Inspiration", by Chicago. In and of itself, the song wouldn't have done anything for me. I mean, Chicago's all good and everything. I have nothing against the musical group, OR the city (I do have something against the movie though). But the context with the little plot of the game caused me to FREAKING CRY! What?!?! I have only cried about a game once. ONCE. And I was thoroughly ashamed by it (It was Final Fantasy III just so you know). Not only that, but no form of media has made me cry in months. It wasn't a single, poetic tear either. There were wells...

So I played through the level, which you can't pause during. The whole song of the level plays as you show your Mom how to keep on living, and that as long as you never forget, he'll always be there. I made it out ok, just to all those who were concerned. And though I had the usual aftermath feeling of being manipulated, I felt especially annoyed that it was a freaking game. Not only a game, a handheld game. That's simply not allowed in my book. I was already embarrassed to admit that I can't not cry during Angels in the Outfield. This is worse. Trust me.

But, that's ok. I stand by my original proclamation that it was because this little story came out of freaking nowhere. It caught me off guard. Just... shut up. Don't look at me!!

<<<>>>

Anyways, everything is ok. I downloaded "You're the Inspiration", so that I never, ever forget. , I'm such a dork.

Ok sorry for the non-China post. I'll post something substantial soon.

Psych!

2007-03-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Whoa! As you may have noticed from the last set of comments, Dr. Hughes and Dr. Pitts commented on my writing! Do you know what this means? They read it! I'm so happy about this, but at the same time I'm going to have to start being more careful with throwing my psychology around with reckless abandon. As a preemptive method to distance myself of any mistakes or flaws in my comments I'd like to go on the record on saying that I write here on a sort of unhindered flow of thoughts. That's why many of my posts may seem (how do I put this?) strange and disjointed.

Now that I feel that I've distanced myself from fault or liability, I may continue! Furthermore, Mariana reads this, so mental note to say one flattering thing about Brazil in my posts.

On that note, I'd like to vent on some issues that I've recently been thinking about.

This semester, we've started having one-on-one teaching sessions with the Chinese TAs here. As some of you may know, when I taught Intro to Psychology at App State, I realized that it is the first real job I've had that I've actually loved. I'm not bashing carpentry, HR guys, technical assistance, Blockbuster, hotel front desks, or Old Navy (well, maybe some of those), but I really felt like I gave my all with teaching. It was like going to class and leading a discussion everyday! So after doing that for two years, I knew that I really liked it. I didn't realize until recently that it's likely what I want to do for the rest of my life (apart from traveling). Once I started these little classes, I immediately went into teacher mode and started presenting the topics we have to talk about. I just feel way more comfortable than, say, appeasing snooty hotel guests with a fake smile plastered on my face.

That said, it's more clear to me that I want to go back and get a PhD now. That was something I was definately struggling with before. I remember many of my professors presented me with the idea of that possible career choice, but I kind of shrugged it off. The idea kind of intimidated me at first.

In China, however, there doesn't seem to be a lot of interest in psychology. That is, real psychology. When I mention that I have my masters in psychology here, a lot of people seem to kind of be taken aback by it. I've actually had (Chinese) people my age outright ask me why I chose a field that was basically worthless. Many seem to see psychology and even human resources as a bunch of gobbledygook and hocus-pocus (not their words exactly). It can get a little old, as it has come from quite a few people, but I miss people being ok with it. I miss people thinking it's useful, and not just a bunch of common sense.

Anyway, just a little rant. Not China related exactly. I'll mark it as such.

By the way, I bet Brazil is awesome!

Hong Kong

2007-03-09T07:56:00.000-08:00

So we went to Hong Kong, you know? We as in Dad and I. We left after about three weeks of American good times of eating fast food and watching movies and such. Home was good, and I did some very home like things. I had nightmares before I left that Atari (my cat) was pissed off at me for leaving her alone and all. I was happy to know that she didn't seem to hold a grudge.

The flight over was easily the best flight I've had out of the three. The time pretty much flew by (get it? Like a plane...) since there were a lot of empty seats. I was able to actually lie down. You can't beat that. Those fancy-pants first class losers did not know the simply joy of taking up three seats. My time was divided nicely into watching movies, watching Buffy on the Mp3 player, and playing hefty amounts of DS games. It's amazing how long it takes for Sudoku to get old, I'm tellin' ya.

When we got to Hong Kong, everything was pretty easy to navigate. Once we found Nam and her Mom, we got on the train and made our way for the city. Almost everything I saw in Hong Kong was significantly more friendly than Beijing. It was easier to get around, people didn't spit everywhere, and the air was so freaking clean. I was impressed. Like, car wash, impressed (NOTE: The writer of this e-chron profusely apologizes for the very inside joke he just made, that basically two people will get [Nicole and Rachel, I'm lookin' at you] and will, henceforth, refrain from doing such things.)

Let me go on the record for saying that I'm not badmouthing Beijing. I love both cities for different reasons. And although it's hard to quantify, I'll do my best to explain with a tenuously applicable analogy. Hong Kong is like a cute little kitten. Very clean, very likeable, and you fawn over almost everything about it. Beijing is like a gross little pug. It's so ugly and comically uncouth at times that it's simply endearing for all the opposite reasons. Honestly it sounds like an insult, but really it's not. By the way, this is the dog that came to mind with the Beijing analogy.

Hong Kong was honestly, though, like all of the best aspects of China and Britain all smushed together into one ball of deliciosity. They had freakin' Ribena there. How could I not love it? Anyway, Nam's parents were totally awesome too. They showed us around everywhere, and always had stuff to do. They were such good hosts. They always had stuff to do for us, one of which involved gambling in Macau, however, which was my first true experience doing such. It wasn't a good one really. I mean, I don't really like giving money to a machine for shortly lived gratification. Unless it's in an arcade. Which, of course, is a totally different thing... shut up.

So some highlights of the trip included hitting one of my short list of things I actually really, really wanted to see in China. The big ol' Buddha on a mountain. It was pretty freaking awesome, especially the approach. You could see him way up on the mountain in the background.

This honestly was my favorite part of the trip. The countryside was misty and mysterious looking, and I'm a big fan of mist. Because mist = humidity. Humidity = easy breathing and less sore throats. What can I say? I'm a big fan of water. Only when you breath it though...

Also apparently, inside this Buddha is like a crystal that is sacred. When the Buddha was burned, several parts of his body were unburnable and crystalized. Apparenty there are a few thousand that exist somewhere in the world, and each one hold's the unique property to appear as a different color depending who looks like it. Which makes me think that Dad's old BMW is somehow one of the crystals. No one can decide if it's green or grey.

We also went to the aforementioned Macau. This is where the gambling went down. I liked all parts of the trip except for the gambling parts. Macau was interestingly a mish-mash of European city and Chinese city, which I guess makes sense since it was owned by Portugal for a bit (hehe, sense since). I really dug the layout of the city, it was pretty.

Not to say that I didn't like the gambling. It was interesting. But in the way I thought pigeons pecking keys at to get food despite increasingly diminishing returns was interesting. Which was essentially the same thing. One of those moments when I really thought that the argument that Skinner's research was faulty because it assumed that pigeons and humans behaved in the same way wasn't completely unfounded. People were freakin' zombies in there. There was one poor, poor soul making round after round to several roulette tables dropping thousand of Hong Kong dollars every 10 minutes or so. What a tool.

I'll talk more Hong Kong later, please allow this last post to sink in. Savor it, for it is the finest wine of online life-chronicling. Take it in, swish it, and spit it out. Just, you know, don't do it anywhere near me. I'm sick of spit.

Back in Action

2007-02-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

The echronicling shall once again commence. Now that they scooped the giant internet cable up from the bottom of the ocean and duct-taped it back together, internet seems to be running free of any serious earthquake related hitches.

Thanks a bundle for the continued reading and compliments, everyone. It really means something to me. I'll let you figure out what that something is.

The trip home was quite successful. One of my favorite things about family and friends is how easy it is to just jump right back in so easily. I was expecting to be bombarded with a barrage of questions about China. The ones that can't really be answered, like, "So how's China?" I'll answer it here, just so that it's consolidated: Not bad, how's America?

So I jumped right back in, e.g. Luke was making jokes and tormenting me not minutes after meeting at the airport (and vice versa), Mom and Dad we're being very parenty (*sigh* Damnit Buffy), which was great, Nicole and I went on a caper to acquire a Wii, and Rachel, Nicole and I had ridiculous fun flailing around like a bunch of fruitcakes, with constant grins plastered to our faces. Jess and I went to get coffee at Legal Grounds, and that was just like old times up in Boone. Good times.

I really was bummed that I couldn't make it out to Atlanta or Wilmington to see Justin and Ryan/Laura respectively. It was just such a short, action-packed visit that I couldn't seem make that drive work, partially because of having a somewhat more abbreviated stay due to the fact that Pa and I went to Hong Kong during that time.

There were so many other people I wanted to see, though. I feel bad that I couldn't see all of them. Maybe I can make an informal and extremely early invite to some sort of "party" or "hootenany" when I come back in July. I think that might make a guy like me happy. But everyone is so freaking busy. Damn you, life!

So... not much else to say right now. The Hong Kong journey will be documented once I get my brain wrapped around the fact that I hav... er... get to teach this week. So, you can go back to reading my typings if you want...

I'll just be waiting here...

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*Looks at watch*

Decisions, decisions.

2007-01-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

The time has come in which Ms. Wang and co. are beginning to ask everyone if they're going to stay at Carden or not. This is causing me great strife, thusly I thought, "Where better a place to express such a conundrum that my vary own E-Chronicle webular site?". Indeed, so it shall be doneth.

First I'll start with a long chain of causation leading up to the aforementioned conundrum. It begins with the other school. This school is where I work on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays. This school is no Carden. And I mean that in the most pejorative sense. Schedules are wacky, the head fella is unreliable and kind of invasive, and one teacher said to me today after asking my name again that she almost doesn't bother remembering names any more because teachers leave so often and frequently that she's stopped bothering. All this adds up to lead to a over-generalized conclusion that Carden is a cushy job. Every aspect is better on the Carden side, and that makes me wonder just how much of a roll of the dice getting a job in China is. There in bold lies conundrum number one. I like the China Challenge of living here and such, but is it worth it to keep a job that is irrelevant to my major just for the sake of comfort and predictability? Watch how seamlessly this segues into my next issue.

Ever since I received the psych books from home, I've been perusing them quite a bit. Two things constantly strike me: That I very sorely miss psychology and research related activities (shockingly) and that I am getting rusty. This indicates that if I'm to stay here, I have to find something more relevant to my degree than teaching adorable little children. This can be done, I know it. And there's a possibility that it can be achieved at Carden as well, but I absolutely must do it. Although it pains me to think about leaving the little tykes, I will have to do it. And I will do it, I'm just hoping that whomever takes the reins of the class better not undo all that I've done. Related to this who psych mess...

One day, while being worn out after class, I was rewatching season 7 of Buffy because I loved it that much (I could write an entire e-chron counting the ways I loved it, but that has been done countless times I'm sure). Anyway, as I lay there eating Kit-Kats and drinking super-sweetened green tea, I passed out. I proceeded to have one of the most vivid dreams I've ever had here. In this dream, Xander appeared to me much in the same way Jesus or God has appeared to prophets of the past. Only, it was Xander. From Buffy. Xander told me that I should really stop living like a slovenly bachelor and figure out what I should do next. This motivated me in many ways to get to work on deciding what I'm going to do. Annnd... much less graceful segue to...

If I stay here, I'm going to have to learn to stop breathing.

That's about it for now that I can think of. There are many pros and cons about staying or leaving. I like Carden quite a bit, and the people I work with, and I want to learn the language more than I have. I like Beijing, and I like the challenge associated with living here. But I don't like the weather, pollution, and (above all) the lack of degree-related work.

By the way, if you didn't want to read someone griping about life choices, please don't read the above.

The Absence of Christmas

2006-12-13T06:51:00.000-08:00

It's getting interesting here in Beijing now that it's nearing the winter time and the pollution days are becoming ever more frequent. Waking up to ashy grays looming on the horizon on a regular basis, its making me try to remember what green looks like. I'm not complaining really, just stating fact. I knew it would be like this, so I'm not surprised in the least. It was inevitable, Mr. Anderson. Add the fact that Christmas is rapidly approaching, and I couldn't be more oblivious to the fact. The stark absence of holiday cheer is quite interesting. While it would probably be a bummer to most, I find the existence in a society in which Christmas is just the faintest murmur among the few foreigners peppered throughout Beijing just one of those life-enriching moments.

Classes are going just fine, and it's weird to actually see kids growing. There are alot of things that have really surprised me about spending all this time with kids, that being one of them. But memories of myself being that age are actually coming back pretty strong. When I see a kid in class sort of talking to himself and speaking gibberish (not Chinese, I swear) it reminds me of myself when I was that age. And some other things, like I don't remember loose teeth in my own jaw freaking me out as a kid, but seeing another kid with a tooth that's about to fall out really makes me cringe for some reason. It's pretty shocking to me that I reacted that way. Either way, it's staggeringly impressive to see just how far the kids have come with English. They're geniuses. I dote, I dote. But here, not only are they smart little tykes, but they're staggeringly cute. Just take a look at these two pictures.

That's Rain, wearing Annie's glasses, and Kaylee, daydreaming about something. They've set the bar pretty high in terms of how cute kids can be. The worst part is that they know it, so they can work an angle to get away with being little bastards sometimes. Us softy teachers are so easily manipulated.

This, contrasted with the shocking spectacle of the bizarrely (yet aptly) named "Beijing Acrobat Macrocosm" show that Laura Kavazanjian, Lauren, and Laura's friend from home went to. I thought about that whilst watching little kids bend around in shocking ways and flip around like... I don't know, like some sort of supernatural flippy creatures. I mean, these kids are going to have some serious bone, muscle, and body issues. When you are able to bend over backward and balance yourself with the sole power of your jaw muscles, I'm pretty sure that's one thing that wasn't really intended for the human body to do. Just take a gander

Yeah. Ouch. Not alot of room for error there.

I've been spending alot of time away from home. Everything is pretty surreal because of it, I'm used to copius "me" time, and I'm being more of a socialite than I've ever been ever ever. It's all fun and good, especially since recently some of this quality hang out time has been at the absolutely beautiful location known as The Bookworm that lets you play the absolutely divine piano there and is one of the very few places that has Guiness and Bass. The only problem is that all this action is making me really exhausted. But I'm becoming accustomed to it relatively quickly, and it's great to have such a variety of things to do now in my life. Plus, when you go out, you can come across such awe-inspiring moments as these:

"The policeman remind," I will ruin your life if you commit all sorts of crime. He's so jovial looking. He derives much pleasure in punishing you severely. Now you see how they work here in China!

Well, I'll end this rather anticlimatic e-chron with a picture of me chilling with my homie Santa:

Yo yo yo! Merry Christmas!

UPDATE!! OH MY GOLLY!

2006-12-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. Not a lot of updating going on recently. I'm a slacker. Mainly it's the difficulty inherent in apparently doing anything internet related in China. And I don't care how much guff I give them now, they must understand that the over censoring is pointless. The people you probably don't want finding things out on the internet know how to circumvent it, so it's a losing battle in my opinion. Just let the free love of the internet flow. That's what I always say. And by 'always' I mean, you know, just in that last sentence.

I've been doing some serious socializing as of late. Whether its via the new part-time style jobs or just going out more, I've been exposing myself to some seriously high consecutive hours of intense, social activity. Almost like the Ironman of hangin' out. It's intense. For me at least.

During one such marathon social occasions, Annie, Lauren, and I discussed the idea of originality and how it feels to have some things of your own copied or outright stolen (such as piano songs and such). And how much I don't really care. In the midst of this, I mentioned my desire of what I call an "Aerial Burial". That is, that I would very much enjoy this method of burial post-mortem (definitely not pre-mortem though). Much to my chagrin, I've learned that the name "Aerial Burial" was not wholly original. What I thought was a clever and original title to something that didn't exist, I find that they do indeed offer similar services to those who wish to go out in a blaze of glamor. Although I think I might still have dibs on the concept of my aerial burial, in that your remains are fired out of a canon in a spectacular display of extravagance and grandeur. I can think of no more an apt, 21st century American tradition than to be blasted out of something upon death. I'd even be keen on donning my body with an American-flag helmet.

I bought a smashing new camera. I spent too many hours being wishy-washy, but laying down that kinda kuai makes me jittery. So I had to be absolutely sure that I was buying something that I was happy. Though in the process of such, I'm a little ashamed to admit that I gave in to the cute. I purchased not a super zoomy camera with all kinds of bells and whistles, but a small James Bond style camera more suited for looking awesome. Ultimately, I was won over by the fact that the camera had not one, but two, lenses built right into it. One is for normal picture taking, the other is for wide-style. It makes for some easy framing, I have to say. And like I said, its small and cute. Like Dad's camera. And cute things drive the ladies crazy here in Chinaland from what I understand (or from what's going on in my mind at least).

With said camera, I've been seizing the opportunity to make many such photos. All of which I can assure you are of the highest quality. And there are some videos as well of the classes that we teach at Carden. In the near future, you will see just how impossibly cute the kids are capable of being. I mean, there's regular cute, and then there's the dangerous cute. Cute that transcends any preconceived notion one might have about the definition of cute. Cute that redefines the term in an intangible way, one of those "you don't know it until you see it" kind of ways. It's that cute.

But, and there's always a but in China, uploading at this point is painfully slow. So I'm going to try again tomorrow when the planets are aligned, the temperature is just right outside, and when the bell tower chimes at half past 3 o'clock, because that's what it freaking seems to take to get the ever-elusive "fast-internet" connection that has only been spoken of in old wives' tales.

A Wrinkle in Time

2006-11-15T01:05:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, I went with Lauren, Cory, Katie, Laura Kavazanjian, and Seth to a bluegrass show. In friggin' Beijing. Of course, it wasn't so Beijingy inside the club. It was mainly other whiteys, although its doubtful that they were redneck whiteys. But by golly, they were redneck for the night. It was the Sparrow Quartet, with Abigail Washburn (pictured here in a hilarious juxtaposition with some Chinese military guys).

It was interesting though; listening to bluegrass in Beijing and what not. What made it especially disorienting was the fact that Bela Fleck was playing with them. For a brief moment, it seemed that the fabric of the universe opened up and the bizarreness of the situation was fully realized: I have seen Bela Fleck play 15 minutes from my home in the country and seen them in the capital of China, the farthest I've ever been from my home. The bizarre situation created what Katie described as being "A Wrinkle in Time", her theory being based on some obscure book that I'm sure no one has ever read.

Watching the performance, I couldn't help but be thrust into nerd-think again. These thoughts always creep in when I least expect it. I'd like to think that I let these emotional moments impact me in a way that I can't put into words, but I couldn't help but thinking that the music would have been awesome in this sci-fi show called Firefly that I'm in love with. The show is supposed to be a "Western-style sci fi", in which the future implies that the predominating two cultures on Earth were the Chinese and American/English. So... the fact that Abigail Washburn was singing bluegrass songs in Chinese seemed to scream to me that it would have been awesome in the show. Oh well, too late.

Speaking of nerd-think though, although I couldn't be more happy about some news back home regarding certain political parties and a certain Secretary of Defense, I can't help but be pissed off vicariously through Nicole. I am astounded by video games and the industry today. Nowadays, it seems so... tainted. I'm not talking about tainted in the sense that Grand Theft Auto is turning today's children into carjacking, prostitute killing, drug dealing, gang banging, misogynist, volatile sociopaths. I'm talking about how greedy and bizarre the game-makers of today are. Its just so weird to think of the new ways companies are cheating their customers by exploiting the features of online service and the addictive nature of the customer base. I mean, it sounds like EA games are going to start charging people 10 to 15 dollars for offering things that have already been available to gamers for free since there ever were games. Not only that, but game systems are so freaking expensive nowadays. The PS3 is 600 dollars I think, and that's if you don't want to shell out the moolah for the "cheap" system (500 dollars). This is getting way out of hand. Not to mention the fact that when you "reserve" the systems, you aren't even guaranteed to get them after they're released! That's the whole freaking point of a reservation! It blows my mind. These absurdities of American ways of life -despite the fact that some are avoidable- are the types of things I really don't miss about the place, and are the types of things I really, really don't look forward to when I come back. What a strange place. What strange ideas. And to think of how they try to spin the things they do to put themselves in a positive light. Or at least in a slightly less sinister light.

Ok, I've pissed myself off. I'm going to go and think of something positive for a bit.

Me: 1 China: 0

2006-11-08T01:47:00.000-08:00

So with the help of Cami et al., I think I've beaten the system. I have a temporary non-Chinese IP address, and with such, I can post this message. We'll see if it works. I'm hopeful though.

Finally, a chance for an update. Alot has happened since I was slapped in the face with the Great Firewall of China, so it will be difficult to post much. So I'll just go with what I was just thinking about.

First of all, I'm totally stoked. It isn't because of anything major. In fact, that I'm stoked at all about what I'm stoked about is a testament of how easy it is to stoke me. I have live bookmarks on my browser, which allows me to browse my addiction-satisfaction sites much more quickly, leaving room for doing more valuable things with my time. Like glancing around my room and deciding not to clean. I have the most important stuff up there, such as video-game based comics, pointless news stories, short low-quality animations, and a real news source (just so I can kid myself). In addition (whoa, I almost accidentally wrote "addiction", which is probably more applicable), I have a site that tells me what words to say to stay hip with today's fly youngsters. I think the definition of "kthxbye" is extremely funny though, which is what this paragraph was getting to in a very circuitous fashion.

This past weekend, all the teachers banded together and went on an adventure in an agrestic area just outside of Beijing. We all had a chance to bond surviving the elements as we climbed up a gradually sloping, yet vicious, mountain and braved the unforgiving, placid waters of a giant lake in our duck boats. Later, we all bonded in the only way we know possible: By drinking, playing pool, bowling, and "singing" songs on karaoke. These poor songs never knew what was coming. It would be nice to say we(I) butchered them. Yes... less butchering, more torturing. I tortured Simon and Garfunkle's "The Sound of Silence".

The next day, Xiao Gao (Only the most awesome driver/repairman/organizer/partyplanner/sage/mentor/genius that's ever existed) put together a game for us to play. Since it was difficult to explain the rules of this totally made up game in both Chinese and English, it resulted in alot of us just running around bumping into other people. Which, to be honest, was a lot of fun anyway. I've never played a game and felt so incredibly out of touch with reality at the same time.

More updates. My camera... she is still broken. I was trying to find some way of fixing it for cheaper than 1600 yuan, but its not possible. So I don't know what to do. I have to do something though, I need more pictures.

Ok enough for now. Eating time.

Viva la revolucion!

2006-10-26T01:46:00.000-07:00

Warning: This E-Chron is one of the least interesting thus far, I just felt like typing whatever I wanted to. Don't blame me if you are bored with the banalities of today's nonsensical ramblings. This isn't self-deprecation. I write a whole paragraph on how sad it was to lose a stick of candy...

Today is a day to remember... Today marks the day that the E-Chronicles are officially banned in China. I heard the news this morning, and wanted to see for myself. Sure enough, I typed in that simple, yet appealing url "echron.blogspot.com" and lo and behold I got the "This Page is Not Available". Upon discovery of this information, I was surprised to find that my feelings were not an ominous sense of paranoia, disappointment that it will be more difficult for some to read the blog, or fear that my site will be taken down. Nope. I felt elated. Even a little empowered. I wasn't sure at first, until I spoke with Annie:

Drew: "Annie, my blog is blocked. Isn't that weird? I don't think I said something anti-China or anything."

Annie: "Whoa! You were blocked! That's so cool! You're like a revolutionary!"

Drew: "Yeah! I kinda am!"

It suddenly became clear. I was elated because I was proud of the fact that maybe - maybe - I was well-known enough to be singled out and blocked! Maybe even I could photoshop a Che-like poster of myself! I found out later that, in fact, all blogger.com blogs are blocked... not just the e-chron. Bummer.

So I think I'll start a new section entitled "Scary Stuff that Moms Should Not Read". Things happen in Beijing, like the mystery people that got into my home a few days ago, or being ripped off, getting ill, being offered live chickens for dinner, etc., that seem to be the bane of all people who read this and may have loved ones travel abroad. So, I had to post this little article on the 10 things that could be improved in Beijing. I most certainly agree with these. And that leads to my first thing that Moms shouldn't read: Counting tonight, I have technically been hit by a bus and a car. I think the Xi'an thing was when I was "hit" by a bus... as in, I apparently wasn't crossing the street at a red light fast enough, so a bus decided to creep up and nudge my backpack a little. I looked at the driver, and he knew what he was doing. And then, tonight, I was nudged by a car on the way to my most favoritist Muslim food restaurant. It seems that they enjoy doing this most when they are under the inconvenience of having to let inferior bipedal humans cross in front of them while they're at a stop light. The nerve of those people who think they have to walk in Beijing!

The other day, I was walking and eating this fruit skewer they have here. Its like candy apples, but candy everything. I mean, they just take whatever fruit that exists, stab it with a long stick, and dip it into some sugary... something. So I had one with oranges on it. I ate two as I was walking across the footbridge. When I started walking through the path to my building, I did the unthinkable: I dropped the skewer. There were still probably 6 or 7 orange slices left on there. This is the random thought I wanted to post though, and I've thought this before. How come, when you do something like that, you actually stop and survey the damage for a few seconds, when it is clear that there's nothing you can do. Its kind of like when you trip, and you know you just tripped on your own clumpy foot or something, and you still look back and try to assign responsibilty to some blade of grass that jumped up and tangled itself in your shoelace.

I stopped and stared at the catastrophe heart-broken. But idiotic fleeting thoughts rushed through my head, as if I would be able to actually rectify the situation somehow and salvage what I had lost for further consumption. Why? Why would I think that. Sticky, syrupy, candied oranges fell straight into dirt. There's no 5-second rule. There's no turning back. So I just had a moment of silence for the loss and tossed the skewer in the refuse bin, and walked away, head lowered in shame and pondering where I went wrong. It was quite a defeat, I can assure you.

Ok, this has been a pointless e-chron, but I don't care. Not everything that happens over here is adventurous and epic, no matter how I much I try to exagger... I mean, tell the honest, unquestionable truth about everything that goes on in China.

Ill... that says "ill" with a capital "i".

2006-10-22T05:03:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. Well, sickish. I woke up this morning to the sound of my phone ringing, which sounded like it was miles away from my bed. My throat was killing me. I had to /spit quite a lot, which makes me concerned that I'm becoming more and more like the citizens of Beijing with each passing day. Ich bin ein Beijinger!

But! My sickness benefits you, the ever-faithful E-Chron indulger! Due to my ailment, I stayed inside today and worked on the E-Chron more! Now the E-Chron is cooler than ever, with a YouTube enhanced intro movie/song! Now the E-Chronicles of Drew are 80% more epic! It took way longer to make that video than it should have, but who cares? Not me, I'll tell you that right now.

Ok that video took alot out of me, time for some pocky.

Xi'an, among other things.

2006-10-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

Well, there was some good news today. Dork news, but good nonetheless. China apparently has lifted its blocking of the super-subjective yet incredibly handy website of Wikipedia. This makes me very happy. I'm sure that their concerns as a nation are legitamate. After all, anyone can post pretty much anything they want on there about any topic. So, imagine what kind of "biased" information must be on there about... things that have happened in the past. You know... with certain "4-sided geometric shapes" in the center of Beijing, if you catch my drift.

Also, yesterday we were learning how to make the "Ch" sound, as in the word "Cheese". After saying "Cheese" about 50 times, I started really missing some Western foods (i.e. pizza). So I got some Papa John's last night and doused that fire as quickly as I possibly could. I hadn't had cheese in a very long time, and I haven't had milk since I've been here. And, AND... I haven't had a single burger or burger-like sandwich either. Its shocking. I had a submarine sandwich, but it was kind of gross... mainly because they put mayonnaise on it. Mayonnaise... on a friggin pizza sub. But I think that mayonnaise in the eye's of the Chinese people is more like "America sauce". So its like, its the condiment that American's eat. So slap it on anything you want and presto! Instant Western-style food!

One more thing, I've been valiantly staving off the marauding barbarians of sickness for the past week. Its not working too well. I feel like crap right now. And I hate that I feel like crap, which just makes the crap-feeling that much more crappy. Because the weekends are usually the best time I have to hang out with Cami and co. and have fun times together. But today when I went over, all I could do was dwell on the fact that I felt like crap. So I took some medicine, which made things worse due to the groggy repercussions.

The day didn't start off so hot either, as I was jolted from sleep to consciousness from the sound of a loud banging on the front door. There were some Chinese people out there who said alot of things in not-English and then came in the house. This one guy with blue plastic bags rubber-banded to his shoes opened the kitchen cabinet and mumbled a few indiscernable things to himself, marched right back out and said really quickly, "Si bai wu shi wu kuai". This translates to, "That will be 455 yuan". I understood that much. But what the hell? He didn't do anything and then started barking to me in mumbly Chinese (and yes, I can now discern mumbly Chinese from clearly spoken Chinese, in case you were following the progress of my language acquisition) about how much out of the tush I was supposed to fork over to him. Then this collectively acrimonious lot kept saying the price over and over and holding out there palms for me to commence forkage. So I lied of course and said that I didn't have that kind of money, what do you think I'm made of Mao bills? I think not busters... and bustette! So I called Ms. Wang and several others in a desperate attempt to get someone on the phone to tell them to leave. I failed at this, since it was around 8 AM and were asleep. So I got them to leave the only way I knew how: I knew how to say "go" in Chinese, and just repeated over and over. They could have been legitimate repair folk or something, but how the hell was I supposed to know? So, I just said, "Tso! Tso! Tso! Wo bu kuai! Wo bu kuai!" I'm sure this way of saying "I have no money" was totally incorrect. But it got the point across. I think they claimed they would be back later, but I fled the apartment before I saw them again. Now I'm back and there's no sign of breaking and entering, so everything must be square. Ms. Wang called back and told me, post hoc, not to give money to strangers. Good advice.

So... back to Xi'an.

I just realized as well, that post was completely lost...

This is a huge bummer, I hated writing about the bus ride down there. Oh well, here it goes...

We got on the bus in Beijing around 5:3o-ish and made our way to Xi'an. Once we loaded on, I knew instantly that I was in for a major treat. A sensory Dante's Inferno, if you will. Filled with the sights, sounds, and smells of what must have been equivalent to the nastier parts of Dante's little trip through hell. The floors were wet with some sort of... liquid. And to make the deal even sweeter, we had to take our shoes off at the front of the bus. So if the goal was to see how many bacteria could be soaked into each passengers' socks by the time the 15 hour ride was over, they most have broken some records. The mattress provided also featured an array of several mysterious human stains of some sort. The whole bus could have seriously given even Gil Grissom a run for his money.

So anyway, lucky me, I was on the top-middle bunk. I actually went to sleep around 10 pm. Poor Laura Kavazanjian and Annie barely got any sleep though. They were on the bottom bunk. Around 7 am, I was awakened to a cacophany of lung-hacking, guffawing, snorting, and coughing, accompanied by the aromatic smell of about 10 lit cigarettes in a poorly ventilated environment. Plus, according to Laura, someone spilled a bottle of pee. People were up and playing cards and having a wee of a time laughing and often saying, "Mei guo!" again and again. They were talking about us, like Chinese people seem to like to do. It's like Americans are celebrities and performing monkeys at the same time often in China. So, to add to the excitement, our bus broke down several times along the way. A few times even, a festooned officiall-looking fellow boarded the bus and poked around in a curious fashion. That was definately comforting. I took a peek, and then pretended to be asleep. For some reason I was worried that they might throw me off the bus for being American.

So.

What should have been a 15 hour trip, became a 19 hour trip. It was nearly unbearable, and I can tolerate a lot. I really can. This was one of the first times I've had to just concentrate as hard as I could in order to block out all the bad. It worked, I didn't flip out on anyone. But then again, it wasn't a position I'd really enjoy being in again any time soon.

This is the only picture I have of the horrid thing.

So... we arrived at Xi'an and burst forth from the stinking husk that was the remains of a thoroughly defiled sleeper bus. Then we continued on to find our way to the hotel.

We made it to the hotel, it was a beautiful sight. I indulged myself in what was, perhaps, the most rewarding shower I've had in my entire life.

More to come...

Increasingly better experiences too.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

2006-10-14T00:46:00.000-07:00

Ok maybe not that bad...

I have been trying and trying to find a place that can fix my super-cool Canon S2 IS, with people offering wildly variant estimations of times and prices, ranging from 200 yuan in one day to 1600 yuan in 3 days. Of course, the person who offered the 200 yuan in one day was someone who looked at the camera briefly and said, "I don't know what's wrong with it, but I'll give it a shot." Adam went with me to translate, I don't understand Chinese well enough to know that that is what he said, if thats what you're thinking. Adam also informed me that some freelance, rogue camera repairmen will gut the poor contraption, take out all the good parts, and replace them with crappy parts, then sell the good parts to other people. I didn't like the sound of that. So we took the camera to the official Canon repair place.

The gentleman there informed me with complete indifference and torpor that the problem can only be solved by replacing the lens, and since my American warranty doesn't apply to China (and really, why should it?), it would cost 1600 ($200) yuan to fix. He wholeheartedly recommended that I ditch the camera and buy a cheap, no-brand camera until I go back home and can cash in on the warranty there. I, of course, could not capture this instant (or any other things I do for awhile) on camera, so here's the best representation I have to offer:

Apparently, this "E18" Canon problem is one that is rampant among customers. So much that there is an entire website registered to the victims of the affliction, and a impending class-action suit against the fine folks of Canon Inc. Apparently, according to Canon, you CANNOT touch the lens as it is moving... EVER. Similarly, thou SHALT NOT power the camera on if it's close to having dead batteries. If you do, the camera will swoon and faint under the pressure of having to do too much work. Its funny too, the Canon shop had photos on the wall taken by Canon users. Things like, rambunctious tykes or galloping gazelles taken in extraordinarily hazardous-looking conditions. And yet, the S2 IS seems to have the structural integrity of a dainty little flower. I'm sure they used some super Canon camera... either that or they took 20 s2 IS' to Africa and used them like disposables.

So... I don't know what to do. I was this close (right now I'm holding my thumb and index finger extremely close together) to shelling out the dough for the fix, because I so miss the camera. I could take photos like this one of a darling little chinese youth so easily.

And yet, who's to say if I did pay for it how long I'd have a working camera for? I could shell out the cash-money, use it for another 2 weeks, and graze the lens as I take off the lens cap. Then I'm out 200 more dollars and even more disheartened.

Anyway, until I do something, here are some more photos of things some of you have wanted to see in the only way I can make them for now:

This is my 1st grade class. Aren't they cute?

My apartment. What a comfy couch!

How frustrating

2006-10-13T04:24:00.000-07:00

I typed a post this morning about the Xi'an trip, and I guess didn't wait long enough for it to upload before I closed my laptop. I thought I had waited long enough. I could have sworn it. But obviously I didn't. We're going bowling tonight, but tomorrow there will be an update. I promise.

Somehow...

2006-10-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

Somehow, the three of us, with our tenuous-at-best grasp of the Chinese language, one dog-eared copy of The Lonely Planet, and a lot of bleary-eyed wandering about, managed to make our way back to Beijing. Don't ask me how. And we did it all and only cut 2/3rds into our 3000 yuan budget. We could have done it even cheaper, if we had gone the hostel route. But still, all that for the equivalent of just over 200 dollars is pretty darn good in my opinion. We even got bamboozled a couple of times.

I bought two souverniers, one for Mom and one for Laura-Blythe. I bargained for them too, which is one thing I never thought I'd be able to do. One more thing that I thought I'd never be able to do was done on this trip. I'll give you a hint: It involves Chinese public restrooms and... well, me. Yay for quadraceps.

There is a lot to write about. A lot. And I'm going to write about it in chronological order, instead of from recent memory. Which sucks because I don't like the first part. I want to pretend it didn't happen. And the last part is my favorite. I may have found peace and enlightenment on Mt. Hua. If I did, I forgot what it was all about after playing the Nintendo DS on the bus ride back for a few hours. Oh well, I'm sure it will come back to me. So anyway, expect the next few posts to be all about the trip.

Anyway, this one doesn't count. This one is the post to say I'm back.

I'm back.

Xi'an so far

2006-10-03T01:55:00.000-07:00

In Xi'an right now. At the hotel, but can't post much because I'm borrowing the manager's computer. Just got ripped off and had a taxi driver cackle at us. We payed 20 yuan more than we should have. It wasn't much, but still. So, I'm kind of pissed. Otherwise, things are going well. Lots of pictures/video.

Ok gotta go. Update in a few days.

Leaving for a week

2006-09-29T09:53:00.000-07:00

This weekend is the Lunar Festival, which marks the commencement of our weeklong October break. For the duration of such, Annie, Laura, and myself will be travelling to Xi'an to see some statues or something. I plan to eat lots of Xi'an Jao-zi (which Xi'an is apparently famous for) and link to as many things as possible.

My point being is that I will be gone from Sunday night (October 1st) until Saturday morning (October 7th). Which means a whole week on no update goodness (unless I stumble across an internet cafe, and can pop in for a second to update). Please don't stop reading though. This blog is like Puff, the Magic Dragon. When people stop visiting him, E-chron will cease his fearless roar, green html code will fall like rain, and E-chron that Magic Journal will slip sadly into his 404 (file not found) cave. Damn, that came off more guilt-trippy than I planned, my bad.

Before I leave, I'll be making one more post to further delineate my exact plans (Laura put together an itinerary). Then whomever so chooses could get a rough idea of where I am at all times during the trip. Furthermore (and this one goes out to all ya'lls out there who worry even slightly about my safety), Ms. Wang insisted and insisted that we take her phone number (which I was planning on doing anyway) so that in case of some emergency, she can get us back no matter what. Gotta love safety nets. Aside from the fact that she's looking out for our well being, I can understand her standpoint on the business end: If all buses became booked and we were stuck for whatever reason (unlikely), she'd be out 3 teachers for the beginning of the week. That would suck.

I really do like the set up we have going here at Carden China. They take good care of you. I highly recommend it to people who might want to teach in China. I wonder if you could find this blog now by searching "Carden China" on google...

I told myself I'd start using some GRE words in the e-chrons to help me study a bit, but I'm too dilatory tonight. Hehe.

Great Wall AGAIN?!

2006-09-26T09:44:00.000-07:00

Ok just a little tidbit that I haven't added before that I think some of you might appreciate, or be appalled by. And yes, the same thing can enduce both reactions (e.g., The Great Faux-Jewish Escapade of 2002). The first day of training, the TAs came into the classroom to help us prepare. After going over the material, Eileen gave me a list of the children. Almost half had English names, the other half were nameless. So I was given the duty, nay, the privilege of assigning them their English names.

Did I name them something close to the sounds of their Chinese names? No, of course not. Too easy. Did I name them after friends, relatives, or other loved/respected ones? No, of course not. My brain wasn't thinking that way. So, how did I name them? After characters from Star Wars, Firefly, and video games, of course. This was stranger than I imagined, as kids started looking and acting in my eyes like their counterparts (I'm sure some of you will know these). I now see Luke as being sort of the one that will come into his own and be a powerful person one day. I see Han as a rebel mercenary type kid who's too cool for school. I see Kaylee as a quirky, cute little ball of optimism. And so on. There's also a Jane, but I couldn't get away with naming a boy "Jayne". Its funny though, cause she's tough and stubborn just like her counterpart. Oh well. Others that were turned down as too out there or complicated were Mal, River, Simon, Chewie, Jabba, Boba, and almost everyone I used to play WoW with. Hehe, I'm kidding... mostly. While I think that Boba Fett is less of a stretch than some of the names they actually give (such as Smile, or a boy named Sunshine), I guess I would have been crossing some line there. But, Celera came damn close to being one of the girls. That name was very well received (Sorry Cel!). There are also two exceptions: I named one of the kids Dan, because I knew he'd be dedicated just like Mr. Hubball, and one of the kids Jack, because I got tired of thinking of weird names.

Ok onto the Wall.

After coming back down, we walked further to the east. The sun was setting quickly, but we were interested in seeing if the wall continued further to another town (that has good Jao za, if thats how its spelled). We kept walking until we approached another impasse. We technically could have crossed, but that area was a little too rugged for our liking. Plus there wasn't 100% certainty that it was the right way. So we about-faced back to a decent camping spot we found.

We "set up" camp, which consisted of unfurling a sleeping bag and mat, and Cory cooked some fine - damned fine - pasta. It was a very cold, but clear, night. I had not seen the stars since I'd been here. It was very nice to see them. Very nice. I even caught a glimpes of a shooting star here and there. And, as I drifted of to sleep sans glasses, I peered through my sleeping bag up at the stars and thought for waaay too long on why one star was significantly brighter than the others. I erroneously concluded that it was a different part of the world, so maybe some stars shine more vividly than in America. Yeah, it was the moon, dumbass. I'm a sharp one, I tell ya. Anyway, after some intense crossword puzzle playing, we "went to sleep". I say it like that because it was hard to. First, I wasn't very comfortable. Second, it was pretty darn cold. Third, I couldn't get over the fact that I was freaking camping on the Great Wall of China.

So after a full night of tossing and turning and rolling down hill into a bush a few times, it was morning. I poked my nose out the top of my sleeping bag to get a whiff of cool, fresh air. The dew was glistening on the sleeping bag, and... the air... was so fresh. Sorry, when you live in Beijing, you really get a kick out of clean air. It was funny to wake up to a symphony of digitized camera shutter clicks, start up sounds, and Cory, Katie, and Laura all whispering, "Wow, its so beautiful!" Really, how could anyone sleep through that? So I got up to see what all the fuss was about.

Yeah, I thought in my sleeping bag with the cover over my eyes wanting to get some sleep, "Its just a sunrise. They're ooing and ahhing over nothing. I've seen the sunrise a thousand times. Its always the same. The sun comes up, lights things up, makes things warmer, and eventually decides to go back down. Nothing special. What is special is sleeping. That's where its at." Good thing this was a temporary thought.

So after we took several thousand photos of nearly the same scenery (I'm not exaggerating... I think between us it was that many), we started back down. By the way, if anyone wants the full size image of the sunrise, alls ya got to do is ask. Its really much prettier than the super-compressed version.

Once we got to the bottom, we conversed with the locals. By "we", I mean Cory and Katie. I just sat there and played with a puppy, wishing that I knew what was going on in the Chinese conversation world. We eventually got a ride to another section of the wall, the touristy section, where we were constantly screamed at such phrases as, "Hello! Water!" or "Hello! Coke!" or "Hello! Water! Coke! Hello!". It sounded hilarious, as if they were thinking that my name was Water or Coke. I wanted to shot back, "Hello, Pepsi! Hello!". I'm not a jerk though.

The touristy wall was much easier to access, with a chairlift and everything. It was much more restored, but not any less cool. Just cool in a different way. In an easier way. I liked to challenge of going to the ruins. You had to hike through the wilderness to get there. At touristy wall, you were ushered around. There's nothing wrong with this. In fact, after getting such little sleep, I welcomed it. But I'm very glad I did the challenging part. Touristy wall was fun though, because when you were done, you got to ride a sled down a metal slide to the bottom. Just like in the old days...

So... thats it. Finally. I'm done. No more Wall Talk until I get back home and it is casually brought up in idle banter. Its one of those things that is difficult for a guy like me to talk about. By which I mean, I'm so unenthusiastic sounding about everything. Laura Kavazanjian, Cory, and Katie were all so enthusiastic about recounting it, telling the experience in detail. When I was asked about my wall trip at school I replied in a very "my Dad" way, "It wasn't too bad." Or "Yeah, it was pretty neat". Internally, I'm thinking, "This is the coolest thing I've ever done!! Oh my god!! The Great Wall!" It just doesn't come out that way.

Anyway, I'm done. Which is good, I'm going to Xi'an in a few days. I need to get caught up so I can write more! Thanks for sticking through the story till the end! Luke, the story is over. You'll have to wait for season two now. And there were no cliff-hangers. Where is the incentive to keep reading, I wonder?

Bye bye.

P.S. That peak back there is where the neat tree was. To quote Mitch Hedberg, "That tree is far away!!"

The Great Wall

2006-09-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

Lets get this started on the right foot...

I'll teach those kids a thing or two...

Ok now thats out of the way, I can continue my epic adventure story (By the way, epic is my recent favorite word. Yesterday, I ate some epic dumplings).

So we got out of the wild, and onto the wall. I was pouring sweat already, as it was hot as the dickens (which I hear is pretty darn hot). I used the Dad turban trick and confused the local Chinese folks into thinking I was some sort of Chinese-Muslim-American hybrid with my red-star shirt, turban, and rugged, old-fashioned American good looks. Of course, there does seem to be a big Muslim population in China, so maybe its not too far-fetched.

"Derka Derka Derka"

The view from this point was instantly amazing. The wall was unlike I had imagined it, as I said before. It was quite narrow, there were whole sections missing, alot of it seemed to disintegrate underneath foot and hand. In the distance, there were other people climbing the wall. It looked like they were having a wonderful time, so we set off in that direction. Katie stayed behind, but Laura, Cory, and I set forth determined to make it up to the summit that was in our immediate view.

You can't see the summit from this shot, but it was coo

Close to where we started out, there was a point in which the wall had crumbled into a pile of debris (not while we were there, fortunately). This was the first major obstacle we faced. It wasn't really that bad, but considering the fact that I had decided to lug my camera around for the sake of capturing this wonderous moment, it made it hard. But thats how I do things. I like to make even the simplest thing as difficult as possible. So I started free-climbing the first part. Left arm, put camera down, right arm, pick up camera, left arm, etc. I moved in threes like that all the way up the wall. It was dusty, precarious, and maybe a little dangerous. But damnit, I was going to get a picture from up top.

This is steep, trust me.

I was being so careful with my camera. I was almost certain that "Climbing the Great Wall of China" was in the list of things for which Best Buy will void your warranty. That little fella was a trooper too. Getting little bits of dust and pebbles kicked on him and whatnot. I was so proud. The further we went, the more ominous the looks on peoples' faces were coming from the direction we were going. One person proclaimed sincerely, "There is a big challenge ahead". I thought it was just a cute slight Chinese skewing of the English language. I'm pretty sure he ment it though.

Masked by an expression of delight, an overwhelming sense of terror washed over Drew...

I was getting what I hoped for: Some very neat pictures from a very high angle. I could see Katie far below. The perspective was overwhelming. I'm sorry Grandfather Mountain, but this area has your mile-high bridge for breakfast.

In the mist, in the very far right-hand side of this picture, you can see our future campsite. And the little jut-out section of the wall about 1/4th the way up the photo is where we first started the ascent.

Snakey

Finally, we made it to the peak. It was an amazing sight. Although heights bug the crap out of me, it was worth the trembling, the terror, the wanton camera abuse, and the tearing of my jeans at the ankle.

"Yee haw"

So after achieveing enlightenment via oxygen deprivation at the summit, we began our descent. It wasn't nearly as scary as I was dreading it would be.

"Weeeeeeee"

We met up with Katie and continued hiking.

I can't believe I'm going to do this, but I'm going to leave the rest for tomorrow. I can't believe this freaking story is taking me three posts to do, but I've been working on this one for an hour. I have to trudge through painfully slow DSL. Oh well, I can't complain I guess. You aren't allowed to complain here.

More soon. I promise it will be soon.

Intermission II: The Return

2006-09-21T21:56:00.001-07:00

I'm still working on the final installment of the Great Wall trip. I got the photos from Laura Kavazanjian (whose last name I didn't have to type, but its so awesome that I felt compelled to), many of which are alot better than mine. So I wanted to upload them as well, in order for you, the reader, to get the fullest effect possible.

But I'm at school early today, and kind of bored, so I wanted to post again.

I walked to school today. For me, it seems that in order to actually be able to understand where a particular location is in the world, I have to physically go there myself. I can't just tell a cab driver. Anyway, it only took 30 minutes, which is only slightly longer than it took for me to walk to campus in Boone. It wasn't too bad of a walk either - minimal stinky spots and very few instances of car dodging (exaggeration, don't worry Mom).

I "sadly" have missed my chance on taking the GRE in China. Here in this part of the world, they only offer the paper test. This version of the test is offered only twice a year, and the deadline for applying was two weeks ago. Oh well. I've wanted to go back and get a Ph.D now more than I ever have, which is good I guess. My chances of doing such are slim-to-none though in my opinion, since I'm sporting dreadfully low GRE scores as it is. I e-mailed Dr. Hindman recently to ask about Labor related programs, and he strongly recommended Cornell university. I looked into it, and it seemed to really kick ass. I'd be all over it. Ominously, they don't even have a GRE minimum requirement. That probably means that technically, its pretty high.

Then again, all British schools don't have a minimum requirement for GREs. In fact, they don't ask for GRE scores at all. I've been giving a lot of thought to applying over on that side of the ocean, but I have no idea what they require. Its really difficult to tell what research they do in some of those schools. I think I need Dan to translate and help me fight my way through the rhetorical quagmire on some of these websites. I just need to find out what the hell they want from me.

I've been given work to do, so I'm off for now.

Intermission

2006-09-18T17:23:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post for intermission. Something I've thought about since a few days ago but I haven't posted.

I was so terrified that I was going to get constipated or sick or messed up in some way by the food here. But just the opposite has happened. Even though I have eaten some foods that broke some of the rules I read about (I ate an unpeeled apple and plenty of raw vegetables), I've had excellent... umm... processes.

I think I know why...

Back home I was (even though I didn't want to admit it much) eating waayyyy too much fast food and otherwise unhealthy foods. I haven't had anything like that hear except for once (McDonalds, which made me sick).

So...

I think the year here will be an excellent time to shift over to a permanent anti-fastfood kick. I don't even miss Chik-fil-a. At all. I don't miss sweet tea either thanks to green tea.

Of course, I'll look back at this post in a few months when I'm going through the throes of home-sickness and edit the sweet tea part out. I just know it.

EDIT: I didn't mean this post to sound like an epiphany I had all by myself. A lot of you have pointed this out to me on several occaisions that I eat that stuff too frequently. Its just that I think I had to see physical evidence on the counterpoint myself to be sufficiently shocked into self-awareness of the problem. I am especially thinking of Laura Blythe pointing that out to me. I was defensive about it cause I was embarrassed, and ignored it somewhat, but thanks for pointing it out.

The Great Wall

2006-09-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

Ok I'm awake and ready to rock. Had an awesome night's sleep, had some vivid and crazy dreams (I always seem to the night after camping somewhere), and I woke up at 7 sans alarm clock. Shao Gao picks us up at 9:15 so I'm going to try to type fast. It might be a two-parter.

We left Beijing early as heck on Saturday morning. We didn't really even have time to eat if we wanted to get some serious exploration in. It didn't really matter though because Cory, Katie, and Laura came very prepared with various food and such. We took a taxi, subway, bus, then van. So it was a long trip. The van ride was pretty hair-raising actually, due to the fact that everyone in China seems to drive like bats out of hell. Worse, blind bats out of hell... who are incredibly impatient. So we took a few questionable turns and eventually made it to some remote looking area in the countryside. I constantly wonder sometimes if cab drivers just drop you off in random places because they are tired of trying to communicate with people who don't speak Chinese. But we were in a place, with Great Walls involved, so it was right enough.

So we started walking in the general direction of the wall. It wasn't your traditional national park, with signs, forest rangers and safety and whatnot. It was just out there. As if it were completely untouched (which it definately wasn't). We walked for awhile, saw and heard bugs I've never seen/heard before. I was definately out of shape, which seems to be a nearly permanent state of being for myself. But I definately had some serious sweat practically blasting out of my pores at break-neck speeds. I'm sure you'd love to see a picture of a sweaty version of me, so here you go. You're welcome.

After climbing for awhile, we eventually get to the point where we could see the wall, and to be honest it was a lot smaller than I expected. I later found out that the wall is various sizes at different places, and I don't blame them for making the wall smaller at this particular location. Its hard as hell to get to. Plus, this wall isn't nearly as restored as the other wall we went to later, which was like a theme park (with chairlifts and tobogan rides and everything, you'll see later). So it was pretty cool to see an overgrown, ruins-like Great Wall. It was pretty hazy that day, so the wall just sort of snaked away into the mist, which was an impressive sight.

So after resting for awhile, Cory and Laura got gung-ho about climbing the steeper side (the one that wasn't toward the way we were planning on descending). I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I didn't go. So we started our ascent...

Did Drew climb the steep part of the wall or did he crumble like a little pansy?! Did Drew set up camp that night and survive without eating Chick-fil-a or Twix candy bars?! Find out, in the next installment of...

THE GREAT WALL!

Great Wall Almighty

2006-09-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

I'm back from the Great Wall overnight trip. It was so cool. I have so much to write about, but unfortunately I physically can't right now. I hate to do that to you, but I need sleep. Big time. While it was amazing to sleep, actually sleep, on the Great Wall, it wasn't by any stretch of the imagination comfortable. So I barely slept.

I could write a bunch of stuff this instant, but I can't do that until I can post photos. I can't post photos until I can upload them. And I can't stay awake long enough to upload all the ones I want to include. There will be a big update tomorrow though, maybe even in the morning when I wake up. But for right now I'm going to crash.

I'll leave one last thing though. Luke and Laura, if you come, you have to go to the wall. To the real wall, not the tourist one. The one where the rocks crumble underneath your feet as you walk up stairs it and where you have to actually climb parts because the stairs are too steep to actually walk up. I will take you there, and I'd wager good money that you'd love it.

Perpetual motion

2006-09-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

I seriously need some "me days" soon. I've been doing stuff non-stop since I got to Beijing. While I like every single thing I've done so far (with exception to breaking off the key in my door and having to sit outside my apartment for a few hours), I can still tell that pretty darn soon I'm going to crash. And I'll wish I had done my laundry first.

Today we went to the Bookworm again, which is where Bob Marcacci (The Carden program... director? I think?) hosts his weekly open mic poetry reading. While the Art Institute of Atlanta has undoubtedly made me very cynical to most all things art related and has made me think that most "artists" today are so paradoxically narrow-minded when it comes to what they classify as "art", I'd have to say that this group seems pretty darn genuine. There are lots of people from many different parts of the world who come there and read poems and such in their own language. Its really neat actually. It won't stop me from making fun of art and artists (especially the narrow-minded, pretentious kind), but at least now I'll make somewhat of an effort not to generalize my mockery to the entire community. Only that aspect which demands specific attention.

I got home tonight, trying to think of a poem I might be able to write about next week's theme: Color. What I thought might happen, happened: I came home, wrote about 3 sentences, became physically ill at how trite and cliched my effort was, quickly deleted it, played video games, watched Carnivale, and ate some M&Ms. Now I'm writing in my e-chronicle about how lame a writer I am. Oh, by the way, thanks for reading.

Tomorrow will be another fun-filled day. More bestowing my awesome command of the Southern-American-English language to today's Chinese youth (to which today I said allowed in class, "Holy crap" when some of the students started telling me their birthday was after September 11th - them's is some young uns!), and then probably preparing my bad self for a weekend of overnight watch duty on the Great Wall. So don't try anything funny, Mongolians.

Once again, I'll leave you with one, no... two hot new pictures fresh from the Canon (the first one is at the top!). Its from this fancy place called the "Old Summer Palace", where the emporer used to go after a arduous week of copulation with his 100 wives. They had it rough in those days.

Internet action

2006-09-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

I'm now fully operational again, and ready to interact with everyone via the internets.

Lots of things to say though, I tried to write everything down that interested me in some way, but I've been doing lots and lots of things. Last night we went to a Beijing Pop Festival and listened to various bands from around the world (like Norway, UK, China... I don't think there were any American though) that were all pretty interesting. Some were emo-ish I guess, one was a strange electronic style thing with the most hilarious boy band "danc e" I've ever seen. Anyway, the park was awesome. It was a beautiful clear day, and the wasn't half-bad. Either that or my lungs have now become immune to the airborn particles of evil. But the park looked loverly, with a few people here and there flying kites in the gusty wind. Too bad this rendered frisbee use almost entirely impossible.

As I said though, the concert was pretty fun. I kind of drank alot of rum, which I wasn't used to, but damn if Capt. Jack Sparrow isn't a role model (Way to freakin' go, Disney!). Corey and Sam did an excellent job reinacting the boy band dance too.

I also met a guy named Seth, who just so happens to be from the great state of North Carolina, and has also enjoyed the delicious burritos from an upstanding establishment I like to call Flaming Amy's. He even has the merchandise to prove it!

I was a bit worried at first, because it was really windy, and starting to get really cold. Though I had a jacket and everything, I was unprepared mentally. Oh well. As it got later into the night, the temperature got much more tolerable. Once again, a big part of that might have been the rum. I may have just stopped caring. It was an awesome time though, I couldn't be more convinced that I landed in a great job in a great location with a great group of people. I'm one lucky bastard.

Even the guards were having a wonderful time

I have some pictures from the flight over that I have to put up on this E-chronicle. The ice caps were surprisingly sparse. I thought it would be icier than it was. Of course, I'm sure it wasn't a tropical paradise down there or anything, but it does look pretty obvious that it might be breaking up. Its sad too, they were so good together.

Then there was Syberia, which wasn't a freaky as I originally imagined it would be. Just... a whole lot of mountains... Like, many.

Ok so there isn't much text to this entry, but I had to post images and figure that crap out. I doubt the alignment is going to come off very pretty, but I'm sick of posting for the moment. More to come later... for now, I'll leave you with these crazy mountains:

Still here

2006-09-04T04:09:00.000-07:00

Just making a quick post to say that I still exist. First day of classes today. It was awesome. The kids... they're just too cute. I have to go now though, won't have internet until Wednesday it sounds. I'm about to die without it though, so maybe I can create a sense of urgency.

Bye bye now

Made it

2006-08-30T03:10:00.000-07:00

This is going to be short. I made it to Beijing. I'm sort of half asleep though. Kind of just meandering around in the haze and all. I'll definately write more once I get some sleep... and some food... and some sleep.

It was an awesome flight though. No hitches. Neat views of Syberia and the North Pole. I took pictures too, Luke. Earth is running out of ice, we need a refill.

I got to Beijing and stood in line for customs for a loooong time. Then I walked out front, had a bunch of people yelling at me, "Are you Daniel? Are you Peter? Are you David?" Finally I got an, "Are you Drew?". That was very exciting. So then I got a big gulp of Beijing air, and rode with Ms. Wang n' co. to the apartments. Fun.

Anyway, time to go. I don't have internet yet, I'm using a internet cafe. Should have it in 3 days though. I'll try to call later on, Mom, but Ms. Wang is taking us out and all. I'll try to figure out the card when I get back.

I'm out.

There and Back Again

2006-08-25T20:31:00.000-07:00

My brother and I just got back from Washington D.C. about 24 hours ago. We drove 10 hours there, spent the night at a campsite sans tent, drove to D.C. in an ethereal cognitive haze, acquired my Z-visa at the Chinese embassy (which took all day), and drove 10 hours back. It was one of the weirdest trips I'd ever been on. On the surface, it would appear to be the type of trip one would do for sight-seeing. But the only sight-seeing we did was for filler in order to pass the time from 11:00 in the morning until I had to pick up the visa at 2:30.

As some people know, I have trouble sleeping. I often wake up several times a night. Typically, when I sleep 8 hours, it feels like I slept 8 hours. Not in a good way either. After arriving back from D.C., I slept like a baby. Better than a baby. In fact, babies were at my bedside all night taking notes in order to figure out how I sleep so effectively. Therefore, I've arrived at a conclusion: In order to get a full night of regeneterative sleep, I have to drive 10 hours, sleep for 3 hours on dirt and rocks, and drive 10 hours again. Its the only way.

The visa acquisition process was awesome. They were incredibly efficient in there. It makes me highly optimistic about Chinese bureaucracy. I got my ticket, number 181, and the first number called was 172. Granted, I didn't have long to wait regardless, but they got to me in less than 10 minutes. The line moved so fast that I thought I was on a roller coaster. I almost threw my hands up in the air screamed, "WoooooAAAAHHHH!!!" as I got to the booth. I'm not sure if that kind of thing is grounds for immediate visa denial though.

The waiting area was home to a plethora of interesting characters as well. Most of the people there were Asian. I would say Chinese, but I'm not bold enough to make a judgment like that yet. They could have easily been Taiwanese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Mongolian, or NORTH Korean. Of the people that weren't Asian in some way, shape, or form, we had a healthy mix of older folks who may have been there for vacation purposes (or possibly for adoption, maybe?), creepy-looking single fellas who had "karaoke" bars and "massage" parlors written all over them, pretentious-looking single fellas who looked like their entire goal for going was to accumulate bragging fodder, and whatever category I fall into. After talking to Luke for a bit about it, I began to have the scary feeling (but likely erroneous) that the purpose of my traveling might actually be for comedic value. I have to look within myself and ask, "What inspired me to go to Asia in the first place: A valid learning experience and personal growth or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge?" I sincerely hope that I don't find a lot of American arrogance (Amerogance?) in Beijing like I did in the U.K. and France, even if I do find it secretly hilarious.

I got my prescription medication ready though, everything needed to combat the gastrointestinal devils that will likely possess me once I start eating and drinking in Beijing. So that is exciting. All thats left to do really is pack and prepare mentally for the flight over thats approaching at dangerous speeds. I leave on Tuesday. And despite the fact that Luke hates the term, I really can't wait.

...

I'll rub that in some more.

I can't wait, Luke. I refuse to wait. It is impossible for me to wait any longer. I'm so totally excited about going that my body cannot function because it is being forced to wait while I clearly can wait no longer.

I was a jerk 5 years ago, I guess I still am.

Hack Cough Wheez

2006-08-20T19:29:00.000-07:00

Late last night I was searching for more information on individuals' experiences in China, mainly Beijing, and was surprised to find how much the air pollution was mentioned. Well, I was sort of surprised. I had heard long before I even accepted the teaching job out there that Beijing had notoriously bad air quality, but still the degree to which these posts were lambasting this particular aspect of the country was astounding.

Some of the claims sounded like gross exaggerations, and I dismissed them as being just that. For instance, some posts said that Beijing was the most polluted city in the world, by something like 100 times. Which sounded ridiculous. I also heard stories of people leaving their house in a white shirt and coming back a few hours later with a dark grey shirt. I took these accounts for what they were, someone ranting about the pollution that existed there and possibly blowing it out of proportion to make the rant seem more justified.

I mean, I used to hear how horribly rainy the UK was before I went. That it was like constantly being in soup or something. When I got there, I was surprised to see that it really wasn't that bad. Sure, it was overcast often, and it was pretty chilly most of the time, but it wasn't nearly on the scale of what people made it seem.

Another example was how people were saying that Kansas was flat and extremely bland and boring. People were saying, "If you are driving out west, avoid Kansas like the plague. Its nothing but flatness and cornfields." But when I went through Kansas, I'd have to say that only about 30% of the area we drove through was flat and cornfieldy. Everywhere else I looked it was beautiful green hills and staggering, gee-whiz inducing, cumulonimbus cloud formations. It was anything but boring and bland.

People seem to have a tendency of blowing the negative aspects of certain areas out of proportion it seems. I'm not saying that I think that I'll enjoy the pollution in Beijing, but I definately don't think it will be as bad as I'm imagining. I don't think that the winters wil consist of month-long inversions and weekly sandstorms. I don't really think that I'll be hacking up a lung constantly and suffering through carcinogens equivalent of years of smoking, thus shortening my lifespan significantly. I do think it will somewhat difficult to adjust to the air though. If I had a coughing problem in Boise, with its dry air and all, I'm sure that I'll have a sore throat after being out and about in Beijing for a bit. But I think I'll get used to it, just like my brother did.

I just better be prepared to drink a lot of green tea, and sport my surgical mask when things get especially nasty.

2006-08-16T15:49:00.000-07:00

Annoying Lucas

Me. Brother. Two hours of video compressed to 1 minute of annoying behavior by yours truly. See post below.

I was a jerk 5 years ago

2006-08-13T18:53:00.000-07:00

SEE VIDEO ABOVE

While organizing my stuff this weekend in preparation for the trip to China, I happened upon my old Digital Hi8 tapes from 5+ years ago. Mostly video from 2001 when I went to the UK, France, and Italy. About 2 hours of video is me walking around with the camera, operating it like a simian with Parkinson's and murmuring soporifically into the microphone; making stupid, stupid jokes (I have no idea when to use a semi-colon, but it just felt right, ok?). When I'm not boring my non-existent audience with wise-cracks about the testicles on a lion statue, I'm making fun of my brother, annoying the crap out of him. I mean, its funny to pester people sometimes, especially family members. But there's funny annoying, and then there's too far. I went beyond too far, into the realm of O'Reilly-esque jerkitude.

The sheer number of times I say, "Luke!" or "Luke, its Scotland, aren't you so amazed?" or "Luke, stop being a jerk, the Beatles were advocates of peace. You want to ruin their dreams?" or something to that effect. You'd just have to see/hear it to believe it. I'd hope that I've dejerked some over the years, but then again I don't have the objective ability like I do now of seeing myself behave from the third-person's perspective. I just would have to take other peoples' word for it. And I don't people (maybe a snapshot of the reason I was/may still be a jerk, who knows?)

But its very informative to see these old videos. I wonder if I'm still that boring sounding today. I know I'm droll, but that might be giving myself too much credit even there. Its just that I severely lack outwordly expressed enthusiasm, or as my internship boss once said, "Professional Tenacity". I know it troubles some people when conversations go like this:

Girl: "Drew, I got engaged!!"
Me: "Ok."

Guy: "Drew, this might come as a surprise to you, but I'm gay..."
Me: "Huh."

Guy: "Drew, I got fired from my job and I have no money"
Me: "That sucks"

Sometimes I wish I could express emotions when its necessary, and not sound fake about it. I'll be posting these videos, which I've been vehemently downloading to my laptop, as soon as possible. They're great...

No really... completely...

totally...

...

great.

Raintastic

2006-08-10T21:53:00.000-07:00

At 4:53 AM (I think), I'll be 25 years old. So I think that means that in some states, it will be ok for me to rent a car without having to pay more? Not sure about that one, but I'll be damned if it isn't landmark birthday in my book! After this its the decade ages, the prime numbers, the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything age, retirement age, and the year I was born age. This is, of course, assuming they don't come up with head-in-jar technology during these years. Come on Futurama! Predict the future!

Right now, I'm operation on the wonders of dialup internet. Using this archaic technology, it almost does invoke the imagery that the internet is, indeed, not just a big truck. That its a series of tubes!

That said, it will be exceedingly difficult to spice up this vapid E-chron with hilarious and/or meaningful pictures or videos. So right now, whoever may be reading this (and I've created several alternate "members" of blogger.com to create this illusion) will just have to deal with words. Fancy words. Like, euphamism... if thats even spelled correctly. Who knows? Definately not me.

Ok, on to the rant portion. This part is intended entirely for my own cathartic pleasure. It will be astondingly uninteresting I think, but still I have to say it. The charming and lovely staff at Footprints Recruiting has been very tolerant of my daily calling and panicking about actually getting to China. I have to leave on the 29th of August. The documentation needed for acquisition of my Z-visa will be arriving here on the 23rd, if all goes well (and I really, really hope that all goes well). Given that, this means that I'll have to send out the documents, with passport, to some agency like "mychinavisa.com" or something to have it expedited and sent promptly back to me. This will take another 3 days if I'm lucky. I can't believe that I might have to do this, but I may be taking a road trip to Washington D.C. just to go to my nearest China Consulate to have my visa taken care of. Its way more stress than I'd like. But, this isn't entirely my fault, for reasons that I don't care to mention here.

END RANT.

I know, its a mess. But things are going to work out, because things do that. They better. Or else.

Undeniably Pretentious

2006-08-09T13:38:00.000-07:00

Let me go ahead and just get a few things out of the way...

First of all, I despise the word "blog". It really does sound like an onomatopoeic word for the act of violent regurgitation. I mean, just imagine it... "BLoooooooooggggg" Thus, for my own devices, I've decided to rename this internet phenomenon "E-Chronicles" or E-Chron. Trust me, its better for everyone.

And that just leads dandily into my next statement, just so we're all on the same page here. There is, in my opinion, something inherently pretentious in the very idea of starting your own blog... er... E-Chron. I mean, its kinda sad really. Especially if you're under the impression that you actually do have a loyal viewing audience. But then again, I'm probably 75% pessimistic... or maybe thats 75% pragmatic. Either way, I know what I'm getting myself into.

The point is, every once in awhile there is an extremely probable chance that I'll write in a way thats overtly eruditious. Even to the point of physical discomfort. If you're willing to put yourself through it, then by all means. But let me give you a taste...

1.) I may, every once in awhile, write a poem. The quality of the poem will undoubtably be quite insufficient to the standards of, well, almost everyone. Nonetheless, I'll make it seem as if I'm the most insightful, artistic, and original writer there is.

2.) I may, if I see it fit, post a drawing. I will most certainly use my one-year stint at the Art Institute of Atlanta for justification of my artistic prowess, however, the drawings will likely be amateurish and crude. But I won't let that stop me from claiming that it will communicate some deep feeling or moment of spiritual clarity or something fantastic like that.

3.) I most certainly will post photos while I'm in China, of China. This photos will come complete with "Thumb in Corner" sophistication, or "Mystery Lens Debris" added for that sense of realism. This will be highly intentional to the statement that I'm making, just to make you feel like you were there! Thus, these faux pas will actually be part of my uncanny photographic ability.

So there you go. The undeniable pretention will be there. And what would be an E-Chron without that?

The E-Chronicles

My first post in awhile...

Re-chronicles

Dave's travel blog

Scare-a-thon 2007

Something wicked this way comes.

Back in China

Hot dog!

The Policeman Remind

Positive Role Model For the Children

Elite Beat Agents

Is that the best you got?!

The End is Nigh

Life is extremely weird here

Absolutely Ridiculous

Psych!

Hong Kong

Back in Action

Decisions, decisions.

The Absence of Christmas

UPDATE!! OH MY GOLLY!

A Wrinkle in Time

Me: 1 China: 0

Viva la revolucion!

Ill... that says "ill" with a capital "i".

Xi'an, among other things.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

How frustrating

Somehow...

Xi'an so far

Leaving for a week

Great Wall AGAIN?!

The Great Wall

Intermission II: The Return

Intermission

The Great Wall

Great Wall Almighty

Perpetual motion

Internet action

Still here

Made it

There and Back Again

*Hack* *Cough* *Wheez*

I was a jerk 5 years ago

Raintastic

Undeniably Pretentious

Hack Cough Wheez