Monday, October 27, 2008


What the H, am I right?  I mean, a whole year since an update?  Even though I swore that I would start updating in short bursts and not make each post an epic one filled with comics, movies, and or witty soliloquys?  Well, F that.

I guess it also is kind of moot, since the purpose of the Chrons were to keep the fam informed of my various nefarious deeds in China, and since I'm sitting in my mom's living room writing this post, I doubt she wonders what I'm up to.  So now that I'm back in the North Carolinic state and not adventuring around parts of China, my life must be boring, right?  YOU BET!

But, I've been reading back-logs (or blogs... awesome, I came up with a new word) of my posts and I like reading them.  So if I make a little post here and there that has a dash of tedium, you - my esteemed viewer - can just freaking deal with it.  There I said it.

So yeah, I'm back in NC.  What of it?  The coming back part wasn't what I expected really.  There were a lot of things that happened in the last 2 freaking days of being in Beijing that made me really doubt my decision to leave.  It made it nearly impossible, and I spent the whole 24 hours or so that I was in the Vancouver airport thinking about everything that happened.  I got home on my birthday.  And even though I was really happy to see everyone, I could have easily just gotten right back on a plane to Beijing.  I even wondered in passing how easy that would be.  A part of me still thinks about just ditching this incredibly lame job search that has reaped so few rewards and just going back to China where they actually want to hire me.  

That said, a part of me wants to stick it out and get a job.  A "real" job, as some might say.  One that might prepare me for the future more than living day-by-day on wages of a foreign teacher.  After all, I'm highly unsure of what kind of Drew I want to be.  Do I want to be teaching and living abroad forever Drew?  Do I want to be steady job and a house Drew?  Hell, I even saw my cousin's tiny baby this weekend and part of me wants to be Papa Drew.  I don't even know!  There are too many parts to reconcile.  

So while I look for jobs in America, (mainly in Washington because I think Seattle is a rad town)I also look in Beijing.  I'm hoping that something will just guide me in a direction, mainly in the guise of a job offer.  But maybe I'll just have to start making a decision my own damned self.  See?  This is where chronicling helps.  It might actually make me realize what I actually want out of life.

So there it is.  I'm home now, I'm looking for jobs left and right.  Learning the meaning of the words "let-down" and "perserverence".  All the while riding this whole election roller-coaster and being totally bummed that I can't afford all the awesome games that are coming out.  I am enjoying being home, but I also miss the sense of community in China.  I never thought I'd hear myself say that seeing as I rarely understood what people said to me.  A big part of that probably has to do with living in a city.  But any sense of community doesn't match up to being with family.  That's something I missed a great deal in Beijing, and it's good to have that back.