Absolutely Ridiculous

Tonight I got a game for the DS and decided to reward myself after having gone shopping and cleaning my apartment by indulging for a few minutes of quality game time. Please fast forward through this update if you don't want to read about a video game, or may think about playing this game and don't want anything spoiled.

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So I got this game called Elite Beat Agents for the DS, which is one of those rhythm games that I've been enjoying lately. The types of games that make me think that if I really, really wanted to I could dance or have rhythm. But yeah, probably not.

Anyway, I knew that it was a Japanese game, involved manga-style comic book graphics, and was full of cheesy plots and dialogue. It's about a trio of super-secret agents that go around solving people's problems by dancing. By dancing. There apparently isn't a problem that can't be solved by cutting rugs.

So as I expected, most of the levels were hilarious oddities one right after another. You help these ridiculously rich sisters ensure that they can maintain their shallow, materialistic lifestyles after crashing on a deserted island. You help an old-fart oil tycoon who's lost all his money (and his gold-digging wife kicks him out of his mansion) by getting him to be come filthy stinking rich again, and basically "buying" back his wife without a second thought. It was all good fun, which is why I was blind-sided by what happened next...

Spoilers If anyone were ever thinking of getting this game and wants a good surprise, don't read anymore. A story comes up, and the whole ambience of the game becomes somber all of the sudden. It was an episode called "The Christmas Gift". It begins with a happy widdle family getting ready to celebrate Christmas. Daddy's leaving, and daughter says she wants a girl teddy for Christmas. He promises he'll be back for Christmas, and he'll put in a good word with Santa.
Well then, it says, "Six months later..."

The girl mentions something about when Daddy was going to come back. Mommy then says, "He's not coming back, lets not talk about this." That's right, Daddy's freaking DEAD.

Then the music kicks up. It's "You're the Inspiration", by Chicago. In and of itself, the song wouldn't have done anything for me. I mean, Chicago's all good and everything. I have nothing against the musical group, OR the city (I do have something against the movie though). But the context with the little plot of the game caused me to FREAKING CRY! What?!?! I have only cried about a game once. ONCE. And I was thoroughly ashamed by it (It was Final Fantasy III just so you know). Not only that, but no form of media has made me cry in months. It wasn't a single, poetic tear either. There were wells...

So I played through the level, which you can't pause during. The whole song of the level plays as you show your Mom how to keep on living, and that as long as you never forget, he'll always be there. I made it out ok, just to all those who were concerned. And though I had the usual aftermath feeling of being manipulated, I felt especially annoyed that it was a freaking game. Not only a game, a handheld game. That's simply not allowed in my book. I was already embarrassed to admit that I can't not cry during Angels in the Outfield. This is worse. Trust me.

But, that's ok. I stand by my original proclamation that it was because this little story came out of freaking nowhere. It caught me off guard. Just... shut up. Don't look at me!!

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Anyways, everything is ok. I downloaded "You're the Inspiration", so that I never, ever forget. , I'm such a dork.

Ok sorry for the non-China post. I'll post something substantial soon.

Viva la revolucion!

Warning: This E-Chron is one of the least interesting thus far, I just felt like typing whatever I wanted to. Don't blame me if you are bored with the banalities of today's nonsensical ramblings. This isn't self-deprecation. I write a whole paragraph on how sad it was to lose a stick of candy...

Today is a day to remember... Today marks the day that the E-Chronicles are officially banned in China. I heard the news this morning, and wanted to see for myself. Sure enough, I typed in that simple, yet appealing url "echron.blogspot.com" and lo and behold I got the "This Page is Not Available". Upon discovery of this information, I was surprised to find that my feelings were not an ominous sense of paranoia, disappointment that it will be more difficult for some to read the blog, or fear that my site will be taken down. Nope. I felt elated. Even a little empowered. I wasn't sure at first, until I spoke with Annie:

Drew: "Annie, my blog is blocked. Isn't that weird? I don't think I said something anti-China or anything."

Annie: "Whoa! You were blocked! That's so cool! You're like a revolutionary!"

Drew: "Yeah! I kinda am!"

It suddenly became clear. I was elated because I was proud of the fact that maybe - maybe - I was well-known enough to be singled out and blocked! Maybe even I could photoshop a Che-like poster of myself! I found out later that, in fact, all blogger.com blogs are blocked... not just the e-chron. Bummer.

So I think I'll start a new section entitled "Scary Stuff that Moms Should Not Read". Things happen in Beijing, like the mystery people that got into my home a few days ago, or being ripped off, getting ill, being offered live chickens for dinner, etc., that seem to be the bane of all people who read this and may have loved ones travel abroad. So, I had to post this little article on the 10 things that could be improved in Beijing. I most certainly agree with these. And that leads to my first thing that Moms shouldn't read: Counting tonight, I have technically been hit by a bus and a car. I think the Xi'an thing was when I was "hit" by a bus... as in, I apparently wasn't crossing the street at a red light fast enough, so a bus decided to creep up and nudge my backpack a little. I looked at the driver, and he knew what he was doing. And then, tonight, I was nudged by a car on the way to my most favoritist Muslim food restaurant. It seems that they enjoy doing this most when they are under the inconvenience of having to let inferior bipedal humans cross in front of them while they're at a stop light. The nerve of those people who think they have to walk in Beijing!

The other day, I was walking and eating this fruit skewer they have here. Its like candy apples, but candy everything. I mean, they just take whatever fruit that exists, stab it with a long stick, and dip it into some sugary... something. So I had one with oranges on it. I ate two as I was walking across the footbridge. When I started walking through the path to my building, I did the unthinkable: I dropped the skewer. There were still probably 6 or 7 orange slices left on there. This is the random thought I wanted to post though, and I've thought this before. How come, when you do something like that, you actually stop and survey the damage for a few seconds, when it is clear that there's nothing you can do. Its kind of like when you trip, and you know you just tripped on your own clumpy foot or something, and you still look back and try to assign responsibilty to some blade of grass that jumped up and tangled itself in your shoelace.

I stopped and stared at the catastrophe heart-broken. But idiotic fleeting thoughts rushed through my head, as if I would be able to actually rectify the situation somehow and salvage what I had lost for further consumption. Why? Why would I think that. Sticky, syrupy, candied oranges fell straight into dirt. There's no 5-second rule. There's no turning back. So I just had a moment of silence for the loss and tossed the skewer in the refuse bin, and walked away, head lowered in shame and pondering where I went wrong. It was quite a defeat, I can assure you.

Ok, this has been a pointless e-chron, but I don't care. Not everything that happens over here is adventurous and epic, no matter how I much I try to exagger... I mean, tell the honest, unquestionable truth about everything that goes on in China.